


(Everything is Simpler) In Practice

by ciTohCysP



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Blood, Crossover, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Homophobic Language, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, King Joel, Knight Ray, Knight!Ray, M/M, Minecraft, Minor Character Death, Panic Attacks, RWBY - Freeform, Red vs Blue - Freeform, Secret Relationship, Slow Build, king AU, king!joel, social disorder
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-01 17:31:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5214572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ciTohCysP/pseuds/ciTohCysP
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everything that went on around the Heyman castle was a little bit… Different. The whole place ran on rules of it’s own, it had to in order to incorporate their resident king who was a whole lot different himself. Joel was nothing like Ray expected a king to be. A king was supposed to be graceful, regal, courageous, and infallible, but mostly Joel was just skittish, fidgety, and especially restless. Ray suspected it was mostly Adam’s doing that they had made it this long without the whole place collapsing in on itself in one last glorious show of stupidity.</p><p>In which Ray is King Joel's new knight and Adam is his disgruntled adviser.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Day, A New Knight

“Adam, No.” Joel insisted for the millionth time that week.

“Joel.” Adam said warningly.

Joel stood up from the corner where he had been hiding from his bearded adviser. His golden crown slipped down his head as he moved, but he didn’t seem to notice. “Okay, look, I don’t need a fucking- I don’t need a knight. I just don’t.”

Adam threw his hands up in frustration, “Yes, you do! I can’t be around twenty four seven to watch out for you! I have other duties around the castle. This place doesn’t run itself you know.”

“Oh, oh, you think you’ve got shit to do?” Joel asked, trying to sound affronted as he sidetracked the conversation, “I run a fucking kingdom Adam, so don’t you tell me about having shit to do.”

“No, just, shut up. I’m not gonna argue with you about this anymore!” Adam snapped testily, he had been trying to convince Joel for more than a month now but was making no progress.

“Oh, that’s what you said the last time.” Joel waves his hand dismissively. “And the time before that and the time before that, and the time-”

“You need a knight, okay? This is really the last time I’m gonna say it. You need at least one knight, especially after the last squad got completely wiped out by skeletons when you sent them out to mine fucking gold of all things. And that’s another thing! Your knights are not errand boys, they are there to guard you! That’s it!”

Joel whined, “But I don’t wanna bunch of big dumb stupid knights hanging around me all the time.”

“Well suck it up, your highness. ‘Cause you’ve got a kingdom to run, and I’m sick of being your goddamned babysitter all the fucking time.” Joel looked dejected and Adam sighed, “Just one. You pick one knight by the end of this week or so help me Joel I will pick one for you.”

Seeing the conversation was over Joel perked up a bit, “So how did you know I was here anyways?”

Adam just shook his head, “That’s easy, magic.”

Joel gave him a sideways look, “You’re not magic.”

“How do you know?” Adam countered, and that was when the real argument started.


	2. Pick Your Character

Joel was acting twitchy. Well, more twitchy than usual that is. He tapped out a sporadic beat on the sold gold arm of the throne and his eyes flicked this way and that from the glowstone lining the walls to the red wool carpet that rolled up from heavy oak doors.

Suddenly he regretted now more than ever the choice to make a solid gold throne. Who had let him decide a chair made entirely of metal was a good idea? Adam. This was Adam’s fault. Why would Adam have let him decide this was a good idea? That asshole. He was probably laughing it up over there while Joel sat uncomfortably on this stupid fucking throne.

Fucking Adam.

Joel was jostled out of his thoughts when Adam broke the silence, “Okay, what is your problem?”

“Nothing! Nothing is my problem.” He lied quickly.

“Well it’s something! You’ve been sitting there mumbling for the last ten minutes and you’re acting all twitchy.” Adam pointed out in an accusatory tone.

“Well maybe that’s because someone let me have a gold throne!” Joel burst out suddenly with the first comeback that came to mind. The argument made perfect sense in his head.

“What.” Adam said slowly. “The fuck is wrong with you right now? You can hardly sit still and you haven’t even so much as _looked_ at the last six knights who came through here.”

“Hey, I am not being twitchy.”

“Joel, you look like you’re about to vibrate out of your fucking chair.”

“No I’m not.”

“You leg.” Adam pointed and when Joel looked down he noticed for the first time that his leg was bouncing up and down rapidly.

“Stop it.” Joel hissed quietly but his leg kept moving. “Traitor.”

“Joel seriously, I need to know what-”

“So uh, should I just come back later ooor?” Said a voice from the front of the room.

Adam and Joel whipped around to face their guest. A knight wearing iron armor was shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot at the base of the stairs leading up to the throne. He was a bit shorter and skinnier than some of the more well built knights that had shown up earlier, but his sparse armor and sleek demeanor clearly pegged him valuing for stealth and mobility over brute force. Most peculiarly though was the red rose on his chest and the white half mask that sat across his face.

“Shit, I didn’t hear him come in.” Adam whispered to Joel.

“Me neither.” Joel whispered much louder.

“I don’t wanna break up you’re little lovers quarrel or whatever you've got goin’ on there but, uh, yeah.”

“Sorry about that,” Adam said, “Please forgive myself and his highness, the Gold King Joel. We’ve been having… Difficulties.”

“No, that’s fine, that’s whatever. I’m just lookin for a job, and I heard you we’re askin’ for knights. So who's dick do I have to suck to get a job around here?”

“Yeeeah, no. We don't, ah, we just need a knight,” Joel said and Adam was shocked. The king sounded far more relaxed than he had just a moment before, like something had happened to lift his stress.

“Well I’m Ray the second of house Narvaez, at your service.” He bowed low and his bright red cape brushed the floor.

“Thank you Ray we shall consider your services to his majesties armies, may you serve your kingdom well.” Adam read through the bland formal line like he had for the last six knights but he was distracted by how relaxed Joel looked in his peripheral vision. The tenseness had completely left his shoulders and his eyes instead of flicking back and forth distractedly were completely focused on the knight.

The second the heavy doors shut behind Ray Joel said quietly, “Adam?”

Adam sighed, “Yeah, yeah, I know. I’ll get the captain of the guard to look him over and then set up the initiation bullshit.”

“Thanks.” Joel said in a sigh and he sounded like he meant it.

They sat for a moment in silence before Adam said, “I don’t know what’s gotten into you, but as long as you’ve got protection I guess you’ll be fine.”

“Yeah.” Joel had a far off look in his eyes and Adam knew Joel couldn’t hear a word he said, too far lost in his own thoughts.

“...Just please don’t send this one to his death.”


	3. Do You Ever Wonder Why We're Here?

Ray started on his duty as the king’s knight the following day. At first he was worried he would raise suspicions because of his mask, but he was surprised when no one ever spared him a second glance. The reason why soon became very apparent as he began to realize that everything that went on around the Heyman castle was a little bit… _Different_. The whole place ran on rules of it’s own, it had to in order to incorporate their resident king who was a whole lot _different_ himself. Joel was nothing like Ray expected a king to be. A king was supposed to be graceful, regal, courageous, and infallible, but mostly Joel was just skittish, fidgety, and especially restless.

King Joel was chaos personified. There was no other way to describe the man’s scattered thought process intermittent with the broken shambles of what can no longer be considered a schedule. How their kingdom even still existed, much less actually seemed successful was truly a mystery for the ages. Ray suspected it was mostly Adam’s doing that they had made it this long without the whole place collapsing in on itself in one last glorious show of stupidity, but Ray would never dare say that to Joel’s face. The two men were in an almost constant fight with one another, usually it was restricted to friendly bickering but already in the single day he had spent with them Adam had already looked just about ready to tackle his king to the ground and rip his face off.

Despite their constant war waging, there was a certain fondness in the way they interacted so casually, moving in and out of each others space and treating one another like old friends rather than the boss and the subordinate. It showed through especially in the questioning glances Adam sent to Joel before his eyes flickered over to Ray and back. There was something there Joel wouldn’t tell Adam, or at least not in front of Ray.

Theoretically it was a very simple job, follow the king around and keep an eye out for hostile mobs or assassins from other kingdoms. It seemed like an even easier job given the well known fact that the king almost never left the castle, and the bordering kingdoms of Burns, Sorola, Hullum, and Ramsey had been at peace since anyone could remember. But what is simple in theory is often fucking difficult in practice as the king’s newly appointed knight was quickly finding out.

One thing that made it very difficult to guard the king was the fact that for a man who rarely went outside he sure move around a lot. Joel was “a slippery motherfucker” according to Adam and damn if that wasn’t the understatement of the century. Ray would only turn his back for a split second to check in a dark room or around a corner and Joel was gone. He wasn’t too hard to track down though after Adam had informed him of the king’s various hiding spots. The king’s chambers, the library, the dusty war room, and the closet next to the kitchens were just a few of his favorite hiding places. And boy did Joel like hiding.

Eventually when Ray would catch him sneaking between two shelves in the library or buried in the pile of newly folded bed sheets he had dumped off the shelves in the closet, Joel would invite Ray to sit with him warily like he was faced with an strange dog. Ray would sigh, make some comment about how he should have listened to his mom and worked as a maid, or how if Joel was going to make him run around all day like a schoolgirl with a crush then he should at least buy him dinner. But he would sit down wherever he had found himself that time and he would talk. Sometimes to himself, but other times Joel would chat with him.

It was one of those times about a week after Ray had been knighted that Ray had ended up on the roof of the castle just above the royal gardens. Ray hoisted himself up the balcony and found Joel staring wide eyed back at him like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Ray would wait and sigh, he had long since gotten past the point of being relieved when he found out where the king had vanished to. After a moment Joel would wave him over soundlessly and invite Ray to sit with him and look down at the gardens. Ray wandered over and plopped down beside him and started up a conversation with whatever he had on his mind.

“You know, I’m getting real tired of chasing you around place to place. How ‘bout we make a spreadsheet so I know where you hide after which meetings and then I can just meet you there with snacks and stuff.”

“Spreadsheets are boring, that’s Adam’s job.” Joel replied.

“So this is gonna be one of the times I’m not talking to thin air? Sweet.” Ray said teasingly.

“What’s it like where you’re from?” Joel asked suddenly, it should seem strange but Ray had pretty much gotten used to Joel’s random comments and questions by this point. His brain to mouth filter was a roulette wheel on the best of days.

“And questions too? Not just vague grunting sounds and nods? It must be my birthday.” He continued before answering playfully, “I’m from around here if that’s what you’re asking. Just ‘cause I’m brown doesn’t mean I’m an immigrant you racist.”

Joel shook his head but kept his eyes fixed on the garden below, “No, I mean- I mean before this? Where you had a home, and family people.”

Ray hesitated for a moment and considered deflecting the question with a joke, but his resolve quickly faltered and he trudged on, “Well you’ve got no concept of privacy, huh? I, uh, used to live in Achievement City.” He wasn’t really sure if admitting he was from another kingdom was a good thing, especially if it could lose him his job.

Joel visibly perked up and Ray was relieved when he looked interested rather than distrustful. “You worked as a knight for Ramsey?”

“Yeah. Me, Gavin, Ryan, Michael, and Jack all worked for Geoff. It was a pretty sweet deal.” Ray said wistfully, quickly getting swept up by memories.

“Why’d you leave?” Joel asked slowly.

“It was pretty nice, everyone there was more friends than they were underlings. It was sort of like a little family. I left ‘cause… I just needed a change of scenery I guess. Needed to do my own thing and seek adventure or some bullshit like that. I dunno. Mostly I think I left because it’s pretty damn hard to find someone when all you do is spend time with the same five dudes, you know?” Ray rambled on.

He wasn’t sure why he was telling Joel all this. The man was his king, not his friend after all. But when he looked over at Joel backlit by the setting sun he realized that he had never seen the high strung king more at ease. His whole body was slightly more relaxed than usual, and that might not have been saying much since his shoulders were still so tense Ray’s ached just from looking at them, but his gaze was steadily directed down at the garden below and not jittering madly, so he considered it progress.

Ray followed Joel’s gaze down to the garden that while alight with the last rays of dusk seemed to catch fire and glow. From the deep green trees to the bright yellow flowers that littered the densely packed collection of teeming plants and flowers, everything lit up in reds and oranges before casting long dark shadows across the ground. There, right at the center of the mess and pandemonium that was the overflowing garden, there was a single untrimmed rosebush reaching nearly seven feet high. All of the bright red flowers were put into high contrast against the dark leaves making it look like little drops of blood splattered against a black backdrop.

“Sounds nice… Geoff’s an asshole though.” Joel added, pulling Ray from his thoughts.  
Ray laughed and tried to push the thoughts of rosebushes out of his mind. “So you know the guy.”

Joel nodded and grinned, “A while ago… I was working for my best friend, Burnie, and he was working for Hullum. Yeah, we were at war.”

“Oh shit,” Ray said, “ I forgot about that. Never was the best at ancient history though.”

“There were only two kingdoms for a while, the Reds and the Blues.” Joel told him, saying the word Reds with some measure of distaste. “We were fighting for a while… But after that we all made one big kingdom that broke off into five smaller kingdoms when all anyone ever did was stand around and talk, and not, you know, get anything done.”

“Geez, you really are old. You sound like my grandpa.”

“Hey! I’m only 44.”

“Like I said, fucking ancient.” Ray laughed and Joel smiled.

The sun set and they fell into the soft darkness of twilight smiling like idiots.

“Hey Ray?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you ever wonder why we’re here?”


	4. The Golden Rose

It was a normal day in the Heyman castle. Normal being a relative term. Very relative. That is to say, all of the snakes that had been previously released were rounded up, and the fire that started earlier that morning had been put out. So it was a typical Monday so far.

As usual Joel was wandering seemingly aimlessly around the castle halls with Ray trailing close behind him, every once in a while stopping to peek through a random door or to stare at a painting on the wall. They had lapped the enormous building three times already without break, but their conversation flowed easily so it wasn't so bad. Every time they passed the kitchen Ray would grab some bread or fruit to eat while they walked. He tried offering some to Joel but whenever he did the man just froze up and shook his head before moving on.

The king had no meetings or appointments that day, and with all that free time on their hands Ray figured they would get a break. Take a holiday or something, maybe find out what Joel’s hobbies were outside of monitoring stocks and hiding in small dark spaces. But no, after several hours all they had done was walk in circles around the palace. They hadn’t done anything fun or relaxing, unless nervous pacing was a hobby of Joel’s which made waaaay too much sense.

Without warning Joel stopped short, freezing suddenly in place. Ray who was lost in thought slammed right into his back. The bread that Ray was snacking on fell out of his hands as Joel to teeter forward and Ray tried desperately to stay upright.

“Oh _shit_!” Ray swore loudly as he attempted to regain his balance.

Ray watched Joel hit the floor, the force of the impact setting off hidden confetti poppers in Joel’s pockets and showering the two of them in glitter and paper scraps. He tried to catch himself and step back so he wouldn’t land directly on top of the taller man, but his foot caught in his red cape and he ended up sprawling forward and flailing his arms as he went down.

He landed with a thump on the other man and Joel moaned beneath him as the air knocked out of his lungs. Which kinda sounded like- _No. No Ray, now is absolutely not the time or the place._ He rolled off Joel quickly as he could but Joel just lay unresponsive besides a high pitched whining sound.

 _Play it cool Narvaez._ “So, uh, wouldn’t have pegged you as a bottom.” _Fuckin’ nailed it._

Joel made a noise that kind of sounded like words but didn’t really make any sense so Ray figured he was fine. Ray quickly picked himself up off the ground and made a show of brushing the confetti and streamers off his clothes. He looked up after a moment and realized Joel wasn’t there. He wondered for a moment if Joel had already bolted to one of his hiding places, but then he looked down and realized the king was still laying on the floor.

“Need a hand up?” He offered and shifted to face him.

“Why are you so heavy?” Joel griped as Ray helped him to his feet.

“Are you calling me fat?” Ray joked.

Joel immediately flushed red. “No! _No_ I ju- No. I wouldn’t- I mean, uh, no.”

Ray laughed and Joel spluttered. For a moment Ray considered that it probably wasn't such a good idea to flirt so blatantly with the king. Maybe he wasn’t even gay, just embarrassed that he had fallen. Oh yeah, he was totally gonna get executed for this, but for some reason the thought just made him smile.

Joel solved his moral dilemma for him by quickly by announcing loudly, “He- hey, I know! How about we go this way, and away… From that conversation?” And he grabbed Ray’s wrist, intent on bodily hauling them away if necessary.

“But my bread…” Ray said, reaching out for his fallen snack as Joel dragged him away by his wrist.

Ray gave up and turned to follow Joel back down the hallway they had came from and snickered silently at the sight of the king’s mussed up hair. They walked past a beautiful stained glass window depicting a golden gauntlet inlaid with yellow, green, blue, and red gems for the other four kingdoms, but Joel didn’t even pause to glance at it. Ray wondered where they were going for a little while, but he figured they were just gonna end up walking in circles again like last time as soon as Joel got distracted by one thing or another.

They walked together quietly for a little bit before Ray spoke up. “So why’d you stop anyways?”

“What?” Joel asked, sounding distracted.

“Earlier, when I ran into you. Did you stop for something or did you just need to rest your freakishly long legs for a second?”

Joel’s steps faltered for a split second but he kept going like nothing happened. “Oh, oh! I, uh, I just- yeah. It’s not- It’s just… I, um… You’ll see.”

“Alrighty then captain coherency.” Then trying to dispel the awkward atmosphere he continued, “Oh damn, listen to me using big words. I feel like Ryan the dictionary guy over here.”

Joel turned suddenly and Ray just managed to stop before running into him again.

“Here.” he said before opening the door to their left that looked like all the other doors they had passed.

“Joel? What the fuck! You were supposed to be here an hour ago!” Adam yelled from inside the second Joel opened the door.

“Ahp, that’s not my fault.” Joel defended himself quickly as they entered the small room.

“What, did you get fucking _distracted_!?” Adam asked, volume rising steadily.

“No! I just-”

“What? How could you be so busy that you forgot to fucking show up-” He stopped yelling abruptly when he looked down and something unreadable passed across his face.

Ray followed his line of sight and realized for the first time that Joel was still holding his wrist. Joel apparently also noticed just then because he dropped Ray’s wrist so fast that Ray almost questioned whether or not he had actually been holding it in the first place. When he looked back up Adam was looking at Joel with eyebrows raised and Joel was flailing and twitching around silently.

Just as Ray was about to break the silence Adam sighed heavily and asked, “Joel, where’s your fucking crown?”

Joel paused in his twitching long enough to give Adam a blank look and say, “What crown?”

Adam buried his head in his hands. “Joel I swear to fucking god, someday I will end you.”

Joel grumbled and Adam seemed to accept this as a response because he got up and walked over to them. Ray was a little shocked when Adam dragged him away rather than Joel but when he looked questioning over at Joel the other man just smiled and shrugged.

Adam walked him over to a small stand surrounded by mirrors and Ray asked, “So, uh... What?”

Adam looked at him with a raised eyebrow before turning to get something out of a chest. “Joel didn’t tell you?”

Ray was about to ask more when Joel exclaimed, “Haaaappy birthdaaaay!”

Joel set off one of the confetti poppers that survived the fall and Ray was showered in sparkly paper again. Adam just gave the king a long suffering look before going back to pulling things out of the chest.

Ray was stunned for a moment before blinking back to himself and saying, “That’s great and all, but it’s nowhere near my birthday. Unless it’s fall already and nobody told me.”

“Oh… I uh, didn’t- I mean, happy early birthday?” Joel tried, sounding a little disappointed.

Ray laughed, this whole thing was just too much for him. He smiled wide as he said, “Awesome, early birthday presents are the shit. So what’d ya get me?”

“And behind door number one iiiis…“ Adam announced before Joel could say anything. “This bullshit!”

He finally pulled a masterfully crafted golden chest plate out from the chest. It was polished brightly so it shone in the sunlight from the window, highlighting the shallow lines and rivets where thorned vines curled and spread from a large intricate rose at the center of the breastplate. The design was sculpted in low relief, but the way the shadows cast from the petals made the whole thing pop and accented the beautiful golden flower perfectly.

“Oh.” Ray said, at a loss for words as his eyes traced over the delicate patterns of the twisting and looping vines. “Oh wow. That’s… Amazing.”

Ray didn't think he'd ever seen something more stunning in his life, and certainly nothing more _expensive_. The chest plate alone, never mind all the other pieces of the suit Adam was pulling from the chest must have cost a fortune. The whole thing was gold plated, if not solid gold, and to have someone carve a masterpiece out of it must have been unthinkably expensive. Joel was giving him this, this incredible thing, but why? Ray didn't buy the whole 'early birthday present' thing.

Adam talked, filling the gaps where Ray felt like he couldn’t speak. “It’s only a ceremonial piece since gold is heavier and softer than iron, which is what you’ve got now. So don’t even think about fighting in this thing, but it should be got for formal ceremonies and important meetings.”

Ray somehow managed to look away from his present and turned to Joel who was watching him with a euphoric smile on his face. “Why are you giving me this? I mean, it’s great and all- no, it’s fuckin’ incredible, but… Why? I mean, I haven’t exactly done anything to deserve this.“

For barley a split second Joel’s eyes flashed with fury and Ray was scared he’d really fucked up this time. Then Joel just looked kind of sad as he said, “You need it for the knighting thing.”

Ray hesitated, waiting for Joel to explain more, but he didn’t. “The knighting thing?”

“All knew knights must be approved by the five kings at the monthly peace meeting before entering fully fledged knighthood.” Adam told him, pulling out the rest of the outfit from the chest.

“Ooh! You should put it on.” Joel insisted as Adam closed the chest.

“Yeah,” Ray agreed with a grin. “Let’s try this bad boy on for size.”

About and hour and a lot of yelling later, they had finally managed to strap Ray into his new ceremonial armor. The style reflected his preference for stealth and speed, but the weight and the fact that it shone like a lighthouse when is so much as near a candle kinda made that redundant. The breastplate was clearly the centerpiece and everything else played to the same stylistic design. The silver chain mail that covered his arms between bracers and arm plates were interwoven with brass links to create more vine like patterns. The bright red cape that flared out behind him was much like the one he already had, but made of a much thicker, higher quality fabric.

Adam’s eyes crinkled at the corners and Joel looked absolutely ecstatic so of course Ray put on a show, posing in ridiculous positions until all three of them were in stitches laughing. Eventually they had to take the armor off before Ray could damage it laughing too hard, but even during that tedious process none of them could seem to wipe the smile off their faces.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love listening to [this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5lLclBfKj48&list=RDYBJhzfvdyKw&index=15) while I write because it just goes so well with the story. Check it out if you want, you can listen while you read! ^m^


	5. The Curse

For a while everything returned to normal. They all fell into a steady routine of chaos and unpredictability. Ray would follow Joel around to whenever the king felt like hiding after a particularly stressful meeting, or after any meeting really. Adam would yell at Joel from across the room when he did something particularly stupid, or when he did anything at all. And Joel would somehow miraculously continue to make their kingdom run smoothly, or at least flourish financially. It was peaceful, but never quiet.

That was until the day of the peace meeting. Once a month the five kings and and one knight from each of their kingdoms would gather in Sorola’s kingdom and discuss their alliances and problems going on in the other kingdoms. Ray said he didn’t remember any of this from when he was Geoff’s knight, and Adam told him that was because Geoff “just kinda does whatever the fuck he wants.” Ray would be lying if he said he wasn’t a little nervous to be in a room with the other four kings, but mostly he was excited to see Geoff again.

One week of preparation and travel later they finally arrived at the castle of house Sorola, Joel dressed in showy golden robes and a new crown while Ray was outfitted in his new rose engraved armor. As they approached the door to the meeting place Joel stopped short and turned to face Ray suddenly. The only thing that kept Ray from running into the other man was his newly formed habit of staying a few feet back from Joel so he wouldn't get hit when the man suddenly spun around or stopped for no apparent reason in the middle of the hallway.

“Don’t _listen to them_ , don’t- don’t trust them. Whatever they say it’s all _lies_.” Joel hissed under his breath furiously.

“Whatever you say man, lead on.” Ray just nodded and Joel seemed satisfied.

Joel swung the door open and Ray had to peer around him to get a look inside. The so eloquently named “peace room” was at the top of one of the Sorola castle’s many spires that twisted up into the sky. Instead of having a series of elegant looking thrones or a long table with maps spread out across it like he would have expected, the room was only furnished with a bunch of couches and chairs pushed against the walls and scattered around where they could fit in the small room.

The room was absolutely filled with people, some wearing crowns and others in knight’s armor. They were all crammed into the small space, a few settled on couches with beer in hand while the rest hovering nearby chatting with friends. He recognized Geoff immediately, but he was busy discussing something with Lindsay and didn’t even notice them come in.

“Finally! What took you so long?” One of the others asked as Joel and Ray entered the room.

“We’re late?” Joel asked, sounding honestly bewildered. “But I thought the meeting was at four?”

“It’s four thirty!” The same man yelled and someone else broke out into quiet laughter. “God damn it. Alright, let’s get this over with.”

“Let’s do introductions real quick.” Another person piped up, “I’m King Gus of house Sorola.”

“I’m Burnie of house Burns, and the current Blue King. Here with me is Arryn of the RWBY knights.”

“I’m Matt of house Hullum, the Red King. Oh, and this is Kara of the RWBY knights.”

“Hello.” Kara said, waving at everyone else and smiling.

It was quiet for a second until someone elbowed Geoff in the ribs, “Huh? Oh, uh, yeah. I’m Geoff of the Green house or whatever.” He said dismissively before quickly returning to his quiet conversation with Lindsay.

“I’m Joel, the Gold King, of house Heyman.” He said and then gestured awkwardly towards Ray who took this as his cue to wave.

A few of them nodded to him in greeting before moving on, “I’m Barbara of the RWBY knights.”

“And Gus, the Podcast King.”

“Podcast King?” Ray asked, still a bit unsure of what the proper etiquette in that situation was. Everyone seemed friendly enough with one another, but he was just a newly fledgling knight. “Kinda breaking the pattern there.”

“Well Red and Gold we’re already taken, so screw it. It’s my kingdom, I’ll name it whatever the fuck I want.” Gus told him proudly.

Thankfully no one seemed offended, in fact they all seemed happy he fit so easily into their casual banter. “Yeah but come on man, the Fuchsia King sounds like a sweet title.”

Before Gus could respond Geoff broke off his conversation with Lindsay and said loudly, “Alright, let’s meet the new cannon fodder.”

“Cannon fodder? That’s a little harsh man.” Ray said, a grin spreading across his face at the look of shock on Geoff’s face when he finally recognized him.

“Holy shit, _Ray_?!” Geoff’s voice cracked and Ray’s grin got wider at the familiar sound.

“Sup Geoffers?”

Geoff looked slightly horrified, “You’re Joel’s new knight?”

“Yeah,” Ray said then turned to Joel, “You didn’t tell ‘em?”

Joel glanced away guiltily, “I might’ve, ah, forgot?”

Ray sighed and said, “Well, I’m Ray Narvaez the Second, Joel’s new knight. Hi.”

Geoff was looking at Ray with shock and, was that nervousness? “Dude, that’s… You do know-”

“Ahp, That’s not important right now, nor will it _ever_. Be. Important!” Joel said loudly, slurring a few syllables in his haste.

Ray gave Joel a “what the fuck” look which Ray had been giving the king a lot lately. Joel steadfastly ignored the look and instead glared daggers at Geoff who glared right back at him.

“Sooo doesn’t Ray need a, ah, title?” Joel asked, trying to change the topic and get out of the tense situation.

“Yeah,” Burnie agreed, trying to move the conversation forward. “Have you thought of a title? Hey, maybe you can be the Fuchsia knight? Or the Dark knight.”

Ray hesitated for a second before answering. “I don’t know, I used to be an Achievement Hunter knight, and I haven’t really had a title since then.”

“Aren’t you the Rose Knight?” Gus asked, pointing to Ray’s golden chestplate. “I mean, I thought with the whole theme you got going on you’d be the Rose knight for sure!”

“Oh yeah! I hadn’t really thought of that.” Ray said. “Huh, seems kinda obvious in retrospect.”

“Alright then!” Lindsay exclaimed happily. “Ray Narvaez Jr, the Golden Rose Knight!”

“Okay! Now the important part!” Joel said with a smile before Ray could rebut the ‘golden’ part of his new title.

Burnie groaned, “Here he goes again.”

“Hey! The stock market is very important to the trade value and economy of our kingdoms, okay?” Joel said, sounding affronted.

“You can go on about investing in precious metals for the next hour while the rest of us talk about actually important things, like the wolf attacks up north.” Matt said rolling his eyes.

It went on like that for the next ten minuets, Joel insisting they talk about the stock market and everyone else smiling and laughing as he rambled on. At one point Kara had offered him a beer which he’d politely declines with a smile and a joke about how he didn’t drink.

Eventually Burnie perked up and said suddenly, “Oh yeah! Everyone shut up. I’ve got an important announcement.”

Everyone quieted down after a moment and looked towards Burnie who was talking to someone beside him. It was only after the man stepped forward that he realized there was someone else in the room. He hadn’t been introduced before so no one besides Burnie and Arryn knew his name. His hand was linked with Arryn’s until she nudged him forwards encouragingly so everyone could see him.

He waved and introduced himself with a huge friendly smile, “Hey everybody, my name’s Miles and I’m the Blue Prince.”

“ _What_!?” Gus yelled and the whole room broke into excited chatter at once.

“Congratulations!” Matt said, going up to pat Miles on the back.

“So you picked an heir? But you’re still so young!” Lindsay said.

“I gotta say, your _heir_ has got a pretty royal _air_ about him!” Barbara commented to Burnie.

Burnie buried his face in his hands at the pun and muttered, “God damn it Barb.”

Burnie broke the chatter by announcing loudly, “Okay. So first off no, Miles is not my son. I just figured it would be good to have a backup in case I die before JD or Teddy are old enough to rule.”

“Bullshit,” Gus interrupted. “You just wanted to be the first one to appoint an heir.”

“Okay, so yeah, maybe, but mostly the other thing.” Burnie admitted before moving on, “I just wanna see how he does for a few seasons, it’d be nice to have someone else directing the kingdom so all I have to do is make speeches and shit for a while.”

“Oh you just- you just wanna be lazy.” Joel accused him.

Burnie and Joel argued back and forth for a while and there was a lot of yelling, but mostly Ray was distracted by Geoff pulling him quietly out of the room. Ray hesitated for a moment, looking back at Joel who was distracted by his argument with Burnie before following Geoff’s lead and slipping out the door while the others were too busy arguing to notice. The door shut quietly behind them and Geoff turned to face Ray looking slightly worried.

“What’s up?” Ray asked, then seeing how worried Geoff looked he asked, “Is everything alright with the guys?”

“Hmm? Oh yeah, everything’s fine. It’s just… I don’t think anyone’s told you yet.” Geoff sounded concerned for real now and that made Ray wary.

“What’s going on?” He asked after a moment.

Geoff hesitated, “How long have you been Joel’s knight for Ray?”

“About a month now, why?” Ray questioned, getting more unnerved as Geoff danced around the point.

Geoff seemed alarmed by Ray’s answer but kept talking, “I, uh, figure I should tell you this since Joel’s clearly not going to, that asshole.”

“Tell me what?” Ray asked, growing agitated as Geoff kept rambling nervously. 

“We call it the curse… It’s just…” Geoff trailed off with a distraught look in his eyes before saying. “I don’t want you to end up like… The rest of them.”

“Geoff, what’s going on!?” Ray finally demanded.

Geoff sighed and cast his gaze to the floor. “None of Joel’s knights have survived more than a month.”


	6. When Anxiety Attacks

Adam had been trying to escape the everyday chaos for just one moment all fucking day. First the farmers came in complaining about creepers on their fields, then the miners came in prattling on and on about zombies in the mines, then the library burned down in town, and to top it all off the endermen that had appeared a while back to the southeast had started taking random blocks from houses. Why? No one knows, but it was driving Adam up the wall and he desperately needed a break.

When Adam finally escaped to his room he leaned back against the door with a happy sigh. Everything in his chambers was quiet, he had made sure to soundproof the room with excess sponges and wool since his quarters were right next to the king’s room. He learned his lesson after the first night when he realized that Joel had those bags under his eyes for a good reason. That reason being the man never slept. Ever. All night long it had just been constant music, crashing, moaning, and loud cursing from dusk till dawn. When Adam had asked what happened in more or less words, with more or less yelling and swearing, Joel had just shrugged and mumbled vaguely about feathers and ceremonies. Adam never asked again.

Adam pushed off the door and crossed the room over to his small bookshelf packed with books well worn along the spines and all the pages creased with dog ears. The only untouched book was “The Stock Market for Dummies” which Joel had gotten him for his birthday and he adamantly refused to touch. He picked out one of his favorites that he hadn't read in awhile and picked up a half finished bottle of vodka from the table on his way to his bed. That was when Joel burst into the room and slammed the door shut behind him, panting and wild eyed like he had the devil on his heels.

“Joel what the fuck-” Adam started shouting but Joel cut him off by shoving both hands over his mouth in a lightning quick movement.

“ _Shhh_!” Joel hissed and Adam restrained his rage when he heard quiet footsteps approach from the hallway.

The calm footsteps got louder and closer as they echoed into the room and Joel looked absolutely terrified. Who was Joel running from? Was it an assassin? Or a thief who got caught in the act and was looking to tie up loose ends? The footfalls got closer and he tensed up as they approached Adam’s room. They got louder and louder until they stopped, right in front of the door, no more than ten feet from where they were standing. Adam’s blood ran cold and he glanced around nervously for any weapon he could use to fend off the attacker. His nervousness increased tenfold when he found his best bet would be the liquor bottle in his hands. They were so fucked.

It was so silent Adam was certain that the mysterious threat could hear his heart pounding in his ears. He was terrified that if he moved the other would sense it and come busting in to kill them. Just as Adam was considering slamming the door open in order to try and get a surprise attack on the unknown person the footsteps picked up and moved on, fading slowly down the halls in search of the king again. The two of them sat in silence for a while after the echoing footsteps had faded and Joel removed his hands from Adam’s mouth.

“Joel?” Adam asked quietly, still afraid that the mysterious person would hear him and come back.

“Yeah?”

“What the fuck was that?” He asked.

Joel looks at him blankly, “What the fuck was what?”

“You know what-” Adam stopped short when a thought struck him. “Where is Ray? He’s supposed to be protecting you. Where is your knight?”

“That was Ray.” Joel said casually like Adam was stupid for even asking.

And that was when Adam gave up on being quiet, “What the fuck do you _mean_ that was Ray!? Why the hell are you _running from your knight_!?”

“You see? This is all your fault!” Joel shot back.

“My fault? How is this my fault?” Adam yelled, determined to be just a little bit louder than Joel.

“If you hadn’t made Ray my knight-”

Adam cut Joel off before he could go on, “No! You made Ray your knight, I just approved it!”

“How could you do this to me Adam?” Joel whined. “This isn’t working!”

“What? Do what? What isn’t working? You’re not making any _sense_!”

Joel threw his arms up in the air and yelled, “He wasn’t supposed to be hot!”

“What.” Adam deadpanned.

Joel looked at Adam with a measure of grave seriousness. “Adam, Ray is hot. His laugh is so cute- Why did you make him my knight? His eyes are just so pretty- This is all your fault. I can’t get jack- I can’t get shit done when he’s always following me around! His voice is so nice- Adam why would you let me make him my knight? You’re the worst advisor ever.”

“Joel, this shouldn’t be a problem.” Adam said slowly, a few things clicking into place for him.

“Well it is. Because he’s just so- He just keeps following me around and I don’t know what to do- With this- with myself. I don’t. I can’t. Okay?”

Joel had started pacing back and forth now and Adam realized he needed to defuse this situation fast. “Why is this a problem? Shouldn’t you be happy you get to spend time with him?”

“Nooooo.” Joel whined and he kept pacing back and forth from the door to the bed. “No, no, no, no.”

Joel kept muttering, getting progressively quieter while Adam said, “I don’t know what to tell you, I honestly don’t. But he seems like a nice guy? Why don’t you just ask him out and see how it goes?”

Joel didn’t respond and Adam sighed. He could see he was getting nowhere as Joel spiraled deeper into his own mind. That was the thing with Joel, he may not seem smart to anyone to took a glimpse at him, but he _thought_. He thought constantly and relentlessly. Oftentimes he thought faster in his wild whirlwind or a mind than his mouth could keep up with, causing him to trip over words or mangle sentences into incoherency.

If he got on a topic that interested him he could break it down, figure out how it worked, and identify all the base materials before anyone else could blink, but this amazing feat also worked against him. If he thought too much of something that made him scared or anxious it would consume him. Given the opportunity Joel would bury himself so deep in his fears and his worries that he wouldn’t resurface for days. That was why Adam was so important, he knew all the tricks to calm Joel down or at very least distract him.

So that’s what Adam did, he talked him down. Presented him with reason and logic he couldn’t ignore. “You can’t be freaking out over this. You’re the king, you have duties to your kingdom, and when you go out there to do them he will find you.”

Adam could see he was at least making progress when Joel responded to him this time. “I can fire him. He can go back to Geoff.”

“No you can’t.” Adam quickly cut off Joel’s line of thought. “You still need a knight.”

Joel whined quietly but otherwise everything was quiet for a long moment.

“Adam, he knows all my hiding places.” Joel whispered, sounding more subdued and defeated than any king had the right to be.

“I know Joel, I’m the one who told him.” Adam let out a breath he hadn’t known he was holding when Joel started calming down. 

“And his hair smells nice.” Joel said quietly, looking lost and slightly afraid.

“That’s a little creepy.” Adam said, walking over and putting a hand on Joel’s shoulder.

“Geoff told him about the curse.” Joel leaned into the touch. He always craved physical contact after coming down from an anxiety attack.

“He was bound to find out eventually.” Adam told soothingly. "And 'the curse' is pretty avoidable if you just _try_ to not fucking kill him."

Joel folded himself into Adam’s arm so he was cradled against Adam’s chest. “I think I love him.”

Adam sighed. “I can tell.”

It was going to be a long day.


	7. Fruit Basketcase

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Good news guys! I can update today and late Sunday, but Saturday I wont have any internet access. I now return you to your regularly scheduled fanfiction.

Instead of enjoying his hard earned relaxation time, Adam spent the next half an hour searching the castle for Ray. First he checked the knight’s room, which was puzzlingly filled with uneaten cake, and- Oh dear _god_. Was that a _head_ in the corner? Adam quickly slammed the door and walked away without daring to look back. He searched the kitchen, all of Joel’s various hiding places, and the throne room but he couldn’t find the knight anywhere. Next he checked the garden, with no luck. But as he was coming back towards the castle entrance he noticed Ray just standing there staring up at the castle.

The Heyman castle was truly something to be admired. Grandiose spires were topped with gold plated roofs that reflected the sun's light and made the whole palace shine and glitter. More gold was inlayed on walls and doors, all made out of materials in darker shades that caused the carefully crafted patterns and designs to stand out against dark wood and stone. The gardens surrounding the castle were filled with thick greens and speckled with small yellow flowers for a splash of color that made the whole place look like it was bursting with light, energy, and life. Everything about it was absolutely gorgeous and Adam couldn't help but stop to admire it every time he was outside.

“He designed it all himself you know.” Adam commented as he walked up to Ray.

Ray noticed him and looked over. “Who did what?”

“Joel,” Adam answered with a half smile, thinking back to the time when it was just the two of them building up an empire. “He designed the whole castle, the city too.”

“Holy shit, really?” Ray’s eyes widened. “I thought it was like, I dunno, a bunch of sweaty old dudes in glasses or something.”

Adam chuckled quietly, “Nope, I had to stop him from trying to build the whole place himself too. He was worried that, ahem, _everyone else will just fuck it up, they’ll fuck it up Adam!_ ”

Ray raised an eyebrow at Adam, “Was that supposed to be an impression of Joel? Because you just missed the mark by half the goddamn continent.”

Adam shrugged, “I tried.”

Ray frowned, “So what’s up? If you’re looking for Joel, don’t bother. I can’t find that asshole anywhere. Haven’t seen him since yesterday.”

“Yeah, no. It’s fine. I know where he is. I… I’ve got it covered.” Adam sighed, he did that a lot when it came to the king.

It was impossible to miss the tension that fled the knight’s shoulders at that assurance but he went on without mentioning it. “So I figure I’d better ask you since Joel’s been avoiding me, what’s the deal with this curse?”

“Well… It’s a bit difficult to explain without making Joel sound… Insane? Psychopathic? Murderous? Murderous works.”

“Oh, that’s reassuring.” Ray said sarcastically. “Just tell me, unless it’s one of those things where you’d tell me but then you’d have to kill me. In that case I think I’m good.”

“No, it’s not that… It’s just,” Adam sighed. “Joel has a really bad habit of… Putting his knights in dangerous situations?”

“Was that a question mark?” Ray asked dubiously but Adam ignored him and kept talking.

“Usually on purpose. Okay, always on purpose. His knights will say something to him, or… I don’t know, I’m never around to hear it. Then next thing I know I’m getting a message saying the whole damn squad died doing something ridiculous like hunting wolves in the middle of creeper season, or going after ghasts in the nether. It’s always some bullshit like that.” Adam groaned and hung his head. “You have no _fucking idea_ how many fruit baskets I’ve had to send out to families. Did you know he once sent a single knight after the fucking ender dragon? One fucking guy, that didn’t end well if you couldn’t guess. Most recently they all tried to swim in lava after Joel sent them out to mine gold with wooden pickaxes.”

“Wow. That’s harsh.” Ray said quietly, looking anywhere but at Adam.

“Yeah… Yeah.” Adam agreed, not really knowing what else to say. What _can_ you say to someone who you've just told that they're probably about to die.

After a moment Ray spoke, “Do you have any idea what the other kni- the others said to him?”

“No idea. They were a little rough around the edges, but they did their jobs alright.” Adam waited a moment before continuing. “If you want my honest opinion, run. I don’t know why Joel does what he does, and I don’t think I ever will. But you’re a really nice guy, and I don’t wanna see you end up like the knights before you because Joel’s in one of his _moods_ or something.”

“Then why haven’t I- Why hasn’t he-” Ray took a shaky breath and continued. “It’s been just over a month, but Joel hasn’t sent me off on any suicide missions yet or anything. So what’s different about me?”

Adam answered honestly. “I don’t know. He likes you though.”

Ray hesitated, “Likes me how?”

“You know,” Adam said waving his hand vaguely. “You just make him calmer. You ground him. He’s always a little more relaxed when he’s around you.”

Ray snorted. “Are you kidding? He’s always nervous as fuck whenever I’m around.”

At that Adam burst out into honest laugter. “If only you could see how much worse he is when he’s _not_ around you! I’ve had to deal with his neurotic twitchy bullshit for years and let me tell you, I’ve never seen him more at ease with anyone, _ever_.”

“Oh.” Ray said slowly and an unreadable look settled on his features, “Okay.”

“You know… If I were you I would’ve been out of here the second I heard about the curse.” Adam gave him a searching look and bit his lip, trying to figure something out that didn’t quite make sense. “Ray, why are you still here?”

"I do wonder why I'm here, all the time actually." Ray chuckled quietly before responding slowly. “I guess… Well, I guess I’m still here ‘cause the idea of the curse doesn’t actually scare me. It makes me excited. Sort of… I can’t really explain it.” Adam looked alarmed, so Ray pushed on quickly. “But really I think… It’s ‘cause I like him too. I'm willing to risk that as long as I can keep being his knight.”

It was quiet between them for a while as they processed everything, the sheer enormity of the situation and everything it entailed. What did it mean to have a knight who was excited by the risk of death? What would happen between Ray and Joel? If something did happen would it work out? And more importantly, if it didn’t work out would Adam be stuck picking up the pieces of a broken king?

Eventually the quiet got to be a little too much for Adam to bear, so he asked, “So what’s with the head in your room?”

“Oh, that’s Patt!” Ray said, snapping out of his thoughts with a smile.

Adam was very quiet for a long moment and he just stared at Ray’s grinning face. After Ray gave no sign that he was kidding he turned on his heel and walked away mumbling, “Done. I’m so. _Fucking_. Done.”

Maybe if he kicked Joel out of his room he could collect the sheets the man had undoubtedly torn up and strewn all over the room and still have enough time left to read. It was a pipe dream but he was willing to hold onto it as he trudged back into the castle, his mind weighed down by all the possibilities of this new information.


	8. No Homo

Ray knew he needed to do something about this, he couldn’t just let it sit and ignore it. How could he even consider not doing anything when his chest was on fire with the knowledge that Joel liked him? That’s what Adam had said, straight from the horse's mouth. Though really Adam always seemed like more of a bear than a horse, but whatever. That wasn’t the important part, the important part was that, holy shit, Joel liked him! He couldn’t just sit still with that on his mind. He had to do something about it before the feeling of euphoria and exhilaration could escape him.

He walked back inside the castle, but when that wasn’t fast enough for him he started running through the hallways yelling Joel’s name. He was sure he had a huge stupid grin on his face by the odd way all the staff kept looking at him but that didn’t matter. All that mattered was finding Joel, whatever happened afterwards was secondary. His heart pounded in his chest as he dashed through the castle, with adrenaline from running or excitement he couldn’t tell.

He turned the corner and passed by Adam’s room, still calling out for Joel as he went around checking all the usual hiding places. When he was about halfway down the corridor Adam’s door flew open behind him. He turned to look just as Joel was forcefully pushed out of the room with a look of pure terror on his face before the door slammed shut behind him. Joel took one look at Ray before immediately turning around and trying desperately to pry it open.

Ray’s grin widened and he walked towards Joel who was now pounding on the door hissing. “Adam! How could you do this to me!? I thought we were friends! _You son of a bitch_! I will never forgive yoooou…“ He trailed off as he noticed Ray stopping beside him.

Joel started babbling frantically with wide scared eyes, but everything he tried to say was completely incomprehensible with how slurred and jumbled it was. Ray tried to slow him down by putting his hands up, but Joel flinched back at the movement and went quiet all at once. 

Joel refused to look at him but Ray’s enthusiasm was undeterred. “Look, if you want to kill me or whatever you can do it later, but right now come on!”

Joel’s mouth fell open, but Ray ignored him and grabbed him by the wrist. He dragged the king behind him and strided back through the hallways, and every time Joel would mutter a half mangled objection or question he would just shush him and keep going. At one point Ray had made the mistake of loosening his grip on Joel’s wrist, the second he did Joel twisted out of his grip and made a break for it. Ray quickly caught up to him and pulled the man back along with him grumbling and whining under his breath.

They finally reached the side entrance that lead out into the gardens and Ray squinted against the bright sunlight. Joel hissed when the light touched his skin and for a moment Ray was worried that the rumors about him being a vampire were actually true before shaking his head and dismissing the thought with a grin. He finally let go of Joel when they were outside and thankfully this time Joel didn’t run.

“So?” Ray asked, still smiling giddily.

Joel opened his mouth, but then closed it again and just looked incredibly confused.

Ray’s smile got wider. “C’mon, we’re going on a date.”

Joel stood still, frozen for a long moment as he watched Ray start walking slowly into the garden. He tried to figure out what the fuck was going on, but every time he tried to think his mind drew a blank leaving him nonplussed. This had never happened before, he didn’t know how to react. What did he do? Why wasn’t his brain working?

Ray stopped a little ways away after he noticed Joel wasn’t following him. “You’re not gonna stand me up are you?”

“I- uh…“ Joel tried, he quickly gave up and shut his mouth. He decided the best thing to do when his brain wasn’t working was just to do whatever Ray told him. Ray was good. Ray could be trusted. He couldn’t think of why, but that’s what he felt in his chest. Ray was smart, he would know what to do.

So Joel followed a smiling Ray into the garden, and he smiled too, and suddenly nothing existed outside their little world in the garden. Joel found he was perfectly okay with that, in fact he was happy. he couldn’t think of why, but he was. He was so incredibly happy. _This_ is exactly what he wanted. _This_. He wanted _this_. Whatever _this_ was, he wanted it. He _needed_ it. He needed it more than he’d ever needed anything in his life. He felt like if he didn’t have it he would never survive.

They didn’t say anything, just walked and enjoyed the connection that came in being bound together with invisible strings of happiness and love. Eventually Joel began to feel like those tiny invisible strings weren’t nearly enough. He needed to touch Ray, to hold him. Ray was safe and warm and he needed that. So he reached out and latched onto his hand, easy as that. He didn’t know why he’d ever thought it would be hard.

Joel spoke up after what might have been seconds or hours, it didn’t really matter as long as Ray just kept holding his hand. “This way.”

Ray nodded and smiled his agreement and Joel felt pleased as he led them along the meandering garden path. He had seen it a hundred times from the castle roof whenever he would hide from Adam or fear or responsibility, but now that he was actually in the garden everything had a whole new perspective of it. The flowers were bigger and brighter, he could see how the lush greens spilled onto the path and covered the stone in places, and he could see how big the castle looked from below, but none of this was anything compared to when he snuck brief glances at Ray who practically glowed with overflowing joy. Every time his eyes lingered on Ray’s face, his eyes, his lips, the other would catch him and Joel would turn away blushing madly.

Joel stopped and Ray looked around where they had ended up. “Oh, this is…“

He trailed off and Joel nodded smiling happily. Towering above them was an enormous rosebush with huge, vibrant red flowers. The light caught on drops of dew and made the plant appear to sparkle in the afternoon light. It was one of Joel’s favorite things to look at from the roof because since it was so tall you could see it from almost anywhere.

Ray laughed and Joel’s chest swelled with warmth. “A rosebush for the Rose Knight, huh?”

Ray looked up trying to see the top of the magnificent rosebush, and Joel’s eyes caught on the way Ray’s neck stretched. He must have been staring because when he came out of his daze Ray was grinning at him. Joel was abashed for a moment when he didn’t know what to do, but Ray laughed and the sound warped around him and settled inside him, warming him with it’s comforting sound from the inside and outside.

Ray stepped closer to Joel and held both his hands. The second point of contact seemed to make everything even better. The colors were brighter, the air was warmer, and Ray was closer. His hands tingled pleasantly where Ray was touching them and Joel felt like if he tried to contain his happiness he would explode. Suddenly the white half mask Ray wore around seemed like the worst thing in the world. Why did it have to be there? It was just blocking more of Ray’s wonderful face from him. It needed to go away.

“Can I… Do the, uh, thing?” Joel asked. He lifted his hands up to make a gesture like a mask, but he brought Ray’s hands with him because he absolutely refused to let go of them now that he had them.

Ray was confused for only a second before he caught on. “Oh! Uh, yeah. Here, let me…“

Ray tried to reach behind his head to pull the mask off, but Joel still refused to let go making the simple action rather difficult. Ray gave up on trying to untie the string almost immediately, and just pulled the mask over the top of his head instead. The mask mussed up Ray’s hair when he slipped it off and Joel felt the sudden urge to run his hand through it. He decided that would feel really nice, but he still wanted to hold Ray’s hand. He whined because he wanted two things and his brain refused to let him think when he was so close to Ray. Ray seemed to find this hilarious when he noticed Joel’s eyes pinned to his ruffled hair. 

“So now I get to ask you for something.” Ray told him and it took Joel a moment to figure out what words meant. “Can I kiss you?”

Joel’s heart skipped a beat and his face heated up. What? Could he do that? Could he kiss Ray? When he searched, he couldn’t think of a single reason why not to. His heart pounded in his chest and nothing else mattered besides Ray. Ray’s face, and Ray’s voice, and Ray’s hands, and Ray’s lips were the only things that had ever mattered.

Joel didn’t think he still had the brainpower left to speak, but somehow he managed a single word. “Yeah.”

Ray leaned in and Joel met him enthusiastically. It was perfect. Their noses bumped when they first came together, and Joel’s height made his neck bend at an awkward angle. It was absolutely _wonderful_. Sparks jumped and tingled all across Joel’s skin when their lips met and he shivered. Ray smiled into the kiss and Joel could feel the smile against his own lips. His whole body lit up with a desire and a kind of love he didn’t know he was capable of. This was Ray, perfect beautiful Ray, and Joel was kissing him. He’d never felt more alive.

When Ray pulled back Joel let out a pitiful needy noise at the loss of contact. He needed to be close to Ray. Ray laughed breathlessly, but Joel didn’t see the humor in it. He looked down at Ray whose pupils were blown so wide that they almost overtook his irises, Ray who was still holding both his hands with the same desperate intensity that Joel was gripping his. In that single moment Joel knew, without thinking and without doubt, he was in love.

Joel smiled. Ray smiled. Everything was perfect.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EEEYYY! We broke 10,000 words you guys! Hooray for actually doing something! This is the farthest I've ever gotten with a fanfic, so let's see if can actually finish it this time! Thank you all so much for the comments and kudos and bookmarks and aaahhh! Just everything you guys have done to motivate me and help me get this far! Thank you all so much! I love you guys!


	9. Wolf in Sheep's Clothing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mind the tags, this is where shit starts getting real. LET THE PLOT BEGIN.

For a while, everything was perfect. Joel would go to his meeting and make announcements, Adam would yell at Joel whenever he fucked up, and Ray would be there to keep Joel safe from everything and anything. For a while, whenever Joel felt the overwhelming urge to lock himself in the nearest dark enclosed space, instead of running from whatever meeting he was currently in he would just look over to Ray who was always standing close by. Ray would notice the frantic look in his eye and the coiled tense muscles in his shoulders at a glance, and he would give Joel a reassuring smile. With that one small gesture suddenly everything was okay. There was no pressure seizing his chest, no intense feeling of dread and paranoia. It was all gone, his anxiety and his stress, and in its place all that was left was Ray. Ray's smile and his voice and everything about him that made Joel's heart flutter.

Sometimes it still became too much, at points when Ray’s presence did nothing to calm his demon called anxiety and Joel needed to hide away from the rest of the world. He would walk just a little bit slower so Ray could follow him wherever he went, and they would sit in the dark together. Sometimes they simply enjoyed the peace and quiet, other times Ray would start up an easy conversation, but mostly they would steal private little kisses where no one could see. That part was his favorite. Joel didn’t feel the need to hide as much anymore, but he ended up slipping into small closets and going up on the roof more than ever before, because that was the only time they could be alone.

They didn’t tell anyone about what happened in the garden, or a hundred times after that. Once, and only once, Ray thought of telling Adam, because by the looks the man was giving them Ray was pretty sure he knew already. Joel had shut him down immediately, he said he didn’t want Adam to know. Adam was mean, Adam would get mad at him.

But of course, Adam already knew. He had noticed as soon as they came back from the garden, hair mussed up, mask missing, and still holding hands with big stupid grins on their faces. It was kind of hard to not notice with the way the king looked to his knight like a smitten puppy. The fact that Ray could now passify Joel with a single look wasn't exactly easy to ignore, but Adam didn’t ask and he adamantly refused to bring it up. Every time Joel would reach out and hold Ray’s hand he would just sigh wearily, and every time Ray would smile that smitten smile at Joel, Adam would just glare at them until they got back to work. He was happy for them, but their lovesick couple sthick was going to be the death of him.

Joel still hadn't given a name to whatever this was, and Ray wasn’t sure if they even needed to. What they called it didn’t matter, because with or without a name it was absolutely perfect. _Everything_ was perfect, so of course it was only a week later that everything went to shit.

A messenger bearing the Ramsey house sigil arrived a week later at the castle doors, and Joel greeted him in the throne room with Ray close by his side. He was oddly dressed in dense leather armor and heavily armed for a messenger, but Ray reasoned that it was dangerous work traversing between the Green Kingdom and the Gold Kingdom with all the mobs that came out at night. Not to mention all of the bandits and thieves that would just love to get their hands on some confidential information for blackmail.

He arrived by foot and the guards escorted him into the throne room where Joel was waiting, already seated on the proud golden throne with his new crown, since he lost the last one. Adam stood to his right and Ray stood a little too closely to his left. The messenger approached the throne and bowed low before Joel motioned for him to rise, for a moment seeming all the regal grace and composure he was supposed to be.

"Gold King, sir Heyman, I come bringing an important message from his majesty, the Green King."

Ray snorted under his breath. " _His majesty_ my ass."

Adam glared at Ray for a brief moment, but Ray could see a laugh sitting on the corners of his lips.

"And what does King Ramsey say?" Adam asked, appearing rather indifferent despite his niggling curiosity.

The messenger shifted slightly and continued. "The message is confidential, for the King's ears only. Ramsey wouldn't even write it down for fear of it being found or stolen."

Joel's eyebrows furrowed in confusion before saying, "Talk to me in one of the meeting rooms."

Adam looked at him, "Joel, I don't think-"

"It'll be fine, Ray will stand guard at the door." Joel dismissed him and hopped up from the the uncomfortable seat.

Ray hesitated for a moment as he looked from Adam's worried face back to Joel who was already walking away. He shrugged at Adam who sighed, and he followed Joel with the messenger through a door near the back of the throne room.

Joel entered a small room which Ray immediately recognized as one of the spots he and Joel had hidden away in on numerous occasions. Joel liked because it had no windows and was far away from the more busy parts of the castle. The messenger followed Joel into the room and just before Joel closed the door behind them Ray gave him a quick comforting smile. Joel smiled back and the door clicked shut.

Ray stood outside the door for what felt like forever. He could hear the occasional shuffle of feet or muffled voices, but nothing he could make out clearly. What did Geoff want? It had only been a week since the last peace meeting, had something happened in the Green Kingdom? He remembered them talking about a cave spider problem, but he didn't think it was that bad. Did something happen to the other Achievement Hunter Knights? So many unanswered questions swirled around in Ray's mind that he almost missed the first yell.

Joel had raised his voice, which wasn't all that unusual, but he didn't sound annoyed or angry. He sounded scared. There was a sound of something wooden breaking immediately followed by something else shattering. Another yell, this time from the messenger, and Joel cursed loudly back at him.

"Oh fuck," Ray grimaced and reached for the door handle, only to find it locked. He rattled the door and tried to force it open but it didn't so much as budge. A cold fear spread in his chest.

“Ray?!” Joel yelped and something slammed against the door with a dull thunk.

“Shit! Fuck, hold on Joel!” Ray snapped and began frantically searching around him for something to pry the door open with. “No, no, no, no, no!”

Why didn't he bring his weapon? Ray had lowered his guard, he'd been lulled into a false sense of security by the carefree attitude around the palace. The flourishing financial state of the kingdom meant there was little chance of a rebellion from within the kingdom itself, and the unity between the five kingdoms usually meant there was no threat of assassins from other kingdoms looking for war or a quick grab at land.

Ray kicked the door with all his strength, but the door didn't give. Of all the things in that castle to be made out of iron rather than gold it was the fucking door hinges. With no other choice, Ray went against every instinct he had and ran away. He had to find the keys, a crowbar, something, anything to get Joel _out of there_. He didn't know where the keys were, or if they even existed, so Ray needed the next best thing. He needed something to force the door open, he needed a weapon.

He ran back to his room and every second seemed like an eternity. Why did the room have to be so far from everything else? The place that had once been their safe haven was turned against them, now every extra second of distance could be the second Joel was killed. It would mean death for both of them, because Ray didn't think he could keep on living with the guilt in his head running a mantra of _you killed him, it's all your fault. You killed him, it's all your fault. Youkilledhimit'sallyourfault._

Ray pushed himself and ran as fast as he could back to his room. His pounding pulse was deafening in his ears, but not even that was louder than the sound of Joel's terrified voice echoing inside his head. He busted into his room and grabbed his weapon of choice, a diamond hoe, from where it leaned against the bedside table. Then he took off again before he could stop for breath.

He didn't remember most of the run back, all of it was a blur of adrenaline and blind fear. He thought he might have passed Adam, he remembered the man saying his name and sounding concerned, but everything else was lost. All he could think of was get back to Joel. Save Joel. Joel. Joel. _Joel_.

He could feel it. The moment he turned the corner and saw the door hanging wide open. Something inside him broke into a million pieces. A cold bone deep numbness settled over him all at once, and all the energy fled his body. _No._ He approached the room slowly, his hand not on the hoe trembling slightly. _No. No. No._ His pulse had slowed to a sluggish half beat, but it was no less deafening in the silence. He reached the door and hesitated, did he really want to know what was inside- what was _left_ inside?

He waited for only a second before his legs decided for him. He entered the room and everything stopped. Time. His breath. His heart. Nothing moved in that single, eternal moment.

The first thing he noticed was the body on the floor lying in a pool of it’s own blood.

The second thing he noticed, Joel was nowhere to be found.

The pool of glistening red expanded sluggishly while the life drained out of the messenger turned assassin. A long shard of glass was sticking out of the dead man's head, bloody fingerprints left all over the crystalline surface. Ray spared a quick glance around the room, a broken picture frame lay on the ground, long splintering glass shards scattered from where it impacted with the stone floor.

Ray walked over and kneeled next to the body, searching for anything, a hint to what had gone wrong, a sign of what happened to Joel. He found a collection of knives hidden under his clothes and an vaguely familiar tattoo of a raised fist on the man's bicep. It stirred a memory deep in the back of his mind, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Where had he seen that fist before? He ignored it for now, more focused on Joel. Where was Joel? Was he hurt? Why did he run? And why was Joel attacked?

Then something occurred to him and his face paled. The man was a messenger from the Green kingdom, very specifically the Ramsey house’s messenger. Geoff had sent an assassin.

_Geoff has sent an assassin._

But why? It didn't make any sense. They we're supposed to at peace. They had known each other for years. Granted, most of those years they had been on the opposite sides of a war, but they seemed like good friends. What could Joel have done to piss him off? Did Joel take something of his? Geoff was extremely protective of his own, had Joel done something to Jack again?

Oh. A thought struck Ray. The curse. Geoff thought Ray was going to die. It had been just about a week and a month since Ray's knightship began. Geoff probably thought he was dead, and he thought Joel was the one who killed him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> pbllllllllpbh \\(.w.)/


	10. Where the Red Rosebush Grows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seriously. The tags are there for a reason. If you can't handle detailed descriptions of panic/anxiety attacks then don't push yourself. Everyone take care of yourselves, you're the only you there is. :3

There was no sound beyond the white noise in his head. It surrounded him, pushing in from all sides. Suffocating him until he choked on the deafening sound of nothing. It was everywhere. That petrifying feeling of nothingness and everything. The feeling that could only be described as _too much_ and _not enough_. He couldn't breathe, why couldn't he breathe? His chest hurt and it only got worse with every painful slam of his heart against his ribs. Why wouldn't his heart stop? It hurt so much, just stop just stop just stop just stop-

Where was he? He couldn't tell. It felt like he was moving, or was that the world moving around him? Everything was swaying and moving and breaking apart. Large chunks burst free from the ground and flew into the sky, jagged shards of stone and dirt splintering under the strain of the Earth's sudden unnatural movement. Everything was breaking and the world beneath him wouldn't sit still. It was only a matter of time before he too shattered under the pressure.

Somewhere in the back of his mind, Joel knew he was having an anxiety attack. But he also knew his brain was a liar, not to be trusted under any circumstances ever again. Because his brain had told him Ray was safe. Ray was nice. Ray was warm. Ray was lovely. And his brain had _lied to him_. His brain had lied because Ray wasn't safe. Ray was a liar just like his brain.

He blinked, and in that split second images flashed against the back of his eyelids. _Glass shards glittering in candlelight. A locked door. Eyes half crazed with zealous righteousness. A picture frame stopped in time, half fallen to the floor. He remembered he was thrown against it. A knife with its deadly blade pressed right against his neck. The grin of a madman._

Joel took in uneven ragged breathes, it was all he could do. He couldn't move, he couldn't look away from the end of the world. He would rather watch the meticulous destruction of everything he had ever known than close his eyes for a second. Because every time he did it was worse. The memories his brain brought back to him were more painful than the chaos of a splintering world he saw through tear blurred eyes. He couldn't hide from the world. He couldn't hide from the memories. He couldn't hide from his own traitorous mind.

He couldn't remember when he had started crying. He blinked again. _One thumped another on the back. He was back in the throne room. Then in a knight's room. Someone tripped a young girl, a maid? Then they did so much worse. A squad of knights at ease. Joking, laughing. It was disgusting. They were all disgusting._

The pictures were okay. He could handle them. Just keep your eyes open. He had seen them all a thousand times before, but the sounds. The voices, the screams. With his eyes opened or closed he couldn't block those out. He couldn't stop them, and they wouldn't go away. The more he tried to ignore them the louder they got. He recalled them all, the new and the old, with terrifying clarity.

" _-nd you can't trust anybody, never could. Everyone your precious knig-_ " The assassin told him with an audible face splitting grin before he faded away.

The next voice was one of the knights, a man named Ulric. " _-hat didn't matter, they were just peasants anyways. Nobody'll miss 'em. Besides, what..._ "

The assassin's voice changed, it became silky and confident like the cat who'd finally caught the canary. " _But you just don't get it do you? It's not just me, we've had spies in your castle for months now..._ "

A knight, he couldn't remember their face. " _-ell of course she said no, what did ya expect? Wasn't like he was gonna get laid on his own with that ugly ass face of his! What so wrong with having a little fu..._ "

The assassin sneered, " _...this is the start of a war, your highness. You can't run from us, we're everywh-_ "

And Joel always remembered when he sent them off, that point when he just couldn't take it any more. " _You want us to do what?!_ "

" _...nyone could be one of us. We're getting stronger, and you can't stop it._ "

" _What are you,_ gay?"

That one always hurt the most.

“ _Ray Narvaez Jr, the Golden Rose Knight!_ ” 

But it hurt even more to think about Ray.

" _...I, uh, used to live in Achievement City._ ”

But he couldn’t control the voices.

" _-o, no, no, no, no!_ "

He never could.

" _...want to kill me or whatever you can do it later, but right..._ "

They belonged to someone else.

" _Shit! Fuck, hold on Jo-_ "

They belonged to Ray.

“ _Can I kiss you?_ ”

Ray was one of them. A spy. An assassin. He had said so. Sent by Geoff to get close to him and take him out. Ray was not to be trusted. Why did it hurt so much? Why wouldn't his heart stop aching? It burned in his chest and he screamed, but he couldn't hear it with his own ears. Why wouldn't his heart just stop? He needed everything to stop.

He blinked. Ray stood in front of him, tall enough to touch the sky. He walked across the broken ground like it was the simplest thing in the world. Passing over chunks gouged out in great handfuls. His mouth moved, but Joel couldn't hear anything over the ringing white noise in his head. He had to get away but he couldn't move, all of his bones were replaced by brittle ice that froze his muscles in place. Ray was bad. Ray was not to be trusted. He needed Ray.

He blinked again, but Ray was still there. Ray was close to him, so close. Ray was crouched beside him. He looked concerned. He needed Ray closer. He needed to touch Ray. He didn't want Ray. He couldn't want Ray. He needed to be alone. Alone with Ray- No, just alone. No one could be trusted. Not even his brain. Everyone was a liar. Ray told him he was safe. His brain told him Ray was right. They were both liars. Go away go away go awaygoawaygo-

Ray's face went from concerned to distressed as Joel went on. Was he saying this out loud? He couldn't tell anymore. The only things that made sound were the ringing in his ears and pounding of his heart. Ray's mouth kept moving silently, and he looked like he wanted to reach out, but he didn't. He was afraid. Afraid of what? Of Joel? No, he didn't want Ray to be scared of him. That wasn't right, but suddenly, he couldn't think of why.

All Joel could do was sit frozen while his brain deteriorated, spiraling faster and faster like an out of control machine. He didn’t know how to stop it, and that terrified him. Ray. Ray knew how to stop it. Ray had the magic off switch. When Ray was around time moved just a little bit slower, he made it manageable. But then Ray was the one in control. Joel didn’t have the off switch, only Ray did, and somehow that was worse. Ray couldn’t be trusted- ...Why? Why couldn’t Ray be trusted? Joel couldn’t remember any more.

Ray was beautiful and wonderful and scared. Ray needed help. Joel needed to help him, but he couldn’t move. Someone else reached out to Ray with Joel’s hands, he wasn't the one controlling them. Everything was happening far away and nothing made sense and everything made all too much sense. All he could feel was the chill of ice in his bones at war with the fire in his chest, and beside it all the frantic pounding of his heart like a drum beat.

Ray grasped Joel’s hands tentatively and Joel could feel the phantom sparks dance on his own hands, running along his arms and across his chest. He had to focus, but he didn’t know why. Ray, Ray needed him to focus. Ray was saying something, but he was too far away to hear what it was. Ray was tiny in the distance and he seemed unreachable, so far off beyond where Joel was allowed to tread.

Ray’s eyes flashed with something. Recognition? Resolve? Realization? He clutched at Joel’s hands with renewed determination, gripping harder and harder until it hurt. Joel could feel that, those were his hands. Ray was holding his hands and it hurt. Why was Ray holding his hands? Why wouldn’t he just let go? Joel whimpered and Ray clenched his hands tighter, ensnaring Joel so he couldn’t slip away. Ray kept talking, getting louder as he held Joel’s hands close to his chest.

“...oel? Joel? I need you to focus. C’mon, look at me. I know you can do it, just breathe. Shit, Joel. Breathe. You can do that, right? Just breathe, that’s all. Deep breaths man, c’mon.”

Joel opened his mouth, but all that came out was a whimper. He tried again, taking a deep breath before speaking. “ _Raaaay_ , tha- ...that _hurts_.” His voice was rusted and scratchy, and this throat hurt with every sound. Had he been screaming earlier? He wasn’t sure.

Ray looked relieved and he loosened his hold on Joel’s hands a bit. “Thank god. You sound like shit, but at least you’re not talking gibberish anymore.”

Why was Ray talking so loud? Everything made too much noise. Joel would’ve tried to cover his ears but Ray still refused to let go of his hands. He didn’t want Ray to let go anyways, he just wished Ray would whisper. Joel’s heart was slowing down, and it hurt less and less with every beat. He took that moment to look around, since he could see everything around him clearer than before. He was surrounded on all sides by thick thorny branches coming up from the soft ground, and he realized with a start that he was underneath the rosebush. Joel didn’t have any memory of coming there, but somehow Ray had found him out in the garden half hidden by dark leaves and bright red petals.

Ray was staring at him, studying Joel’s face for any sign that he was going to break down again, and Joel stared right back. Joel glanced over the new worry lines that appeared across Ray’s forehead and down to his dark brown eyes which were still wide with the remnants of fear, and the downturned corner of the other’s lips that he wanted to kiss.

Ray slowly let go of Joel’s hands and Joel didn’t even have time to make a disappointed sound before Ray dragged him into a hug. Joel’s eyes widened and his whole body lit up with an electric shock. His breath caught in his throat and immediately every part of him went limp without warning. He couldn’t even hold himself up, much less move, so he didn’t. He just let himself be held by Ray, who was more than happy to hold him tightly. Joel breathed Ray in, he smelled faintly like the tang of precious metals under the sweet scent of roses. Eventually he reached up and hugged Ray back, wrapping his arms around the smaller man and ensnaring him in the hug so he couldn’t leave.

“Joel,” Ray said, and Joel hummed pleasantly at the sound of his name on his lips. “Don’t ever do that again. You scared the shit outta me.”

Joel was not capable of full sentences at the moment. His whole body was buzzing with electricity stemming from every point of contact with Ray. The pleasant sparks that danced across his skin made his limbs limp and his brain shut down.

He mumbled into Ray’s shoulder, “Love you.”

Ray froze for a moment in his steady pattern of breathing in and out against Joel’s chest. Somewhere in the far back of Joel’s numbed brain he was worried that he had made Ray mad by saying that.

He thought of apologizing, but before he could Ray looked up at him with a bright grin and pulled him impossibly closer saying, “I love you too.”

Joel smiled and kissed him for the thousandth time that week. Ray’s lips molded against Joel’s own, but neither of them could stop smiling. Ray ran his tongue along Joel’s lip asking for entrance, and Joel shivered in heightened pleasure. He was overly sensitive and craving any sort of physical contact directly after one of the worst panic attacks since the day before his coronation ceremony. Just as Joel opened his mouth he drew back, and Ray groaned at the loss.

“I just…” Joel hesitated, entranced by the flushed look on Ray’s face before shaking himself and continuing, “Are you a spy?”

Ray looked confused and Joel’s resolve almost broke at the adorable way he tried to blink away the haze of the kiss and focus. “A spy? For who?”

“Geoff.” Joel answered quickly, wanting to get this out of the way and go back to kissing.

Joel was incredibly sorry he ever bothered bringing it up when Ray pulled back a bit in shock. “No, god no Joel. I would never- I wouldn’t do somethin’ like that to you.”

Joel nodded at the serious look on Ray’s face but mostly he just wanted to keep kissing him. He knew Ray was being honest the moment he had seen his glazed eyes and complete bewilderment asking why in the world Joel would ever stop. Not even the best actors can fake that face of pure love and lust reserved only for the most madly in love, lost without reason to guide them through something that cannot be explained nor truly understood.

“I love you.” Joel repeated and Ray relaxed back into the hug, pressing his chest against Joel’s. “I love you so much.”

Ray chuckled. “Shut up and kiss me you idiot.”

“Okay.” Joel smiled back and pressed his lips against Rays.

Joel immediately opened his mouth and Ray took full advantage of that, running his tongue along the roof of Joel’s mouth. He moaned into the kiss and Ray had to retreat while he swallowed impulsively at the sound. Joel pushed into Ray’s mouth, taking his chance to graze his bottom teeth with his own tongue curiously. Ray shivered and ran his hands up along Joel’s back to tangle his fingers in Joel’s puffy hair. Joel loved the way Ray’s cool fingers felt against his warm head and paused to enjoy the feeling.

Ray climbed into Joel’s lap and he hummed delightedly. Joel tried to pull Ray closer, wrapping his arms around Ray tighter until they were flush together. Joel’s lungs burned with the desperate need for oxygen from the kiss and the restriction against his chest, but he didn’t pull back. He needed Ray’s lips and his body pressed against his own more that he needed to breathe.

“ _Joel_!” Joel nearly lept out of his skin when he heard the distant yell. “If you don’t get over here _right the fuck now_ I swear to god I’m gonna have _two_ bodies to clean up when I find you you _son of a bitch!_ ”

Ray looked confused and still disoriented from the kiss. “...Is that Adam?”

“I think he might’ve found the dead guy.” Joel groaned when Ray shifted to move away. “Oh please don’t let him find us.”

“We’d better go back, he sounds pissed.” Ray said, sounding concerned as he got up off Joel. “ I was too when you ran off like that.”

“I’m sorry,” Joel muttered.

Ray looked at him fondly. “It’s alright, I was just worried, and I’m sure he is too.”

Joel nodded because he understood, but that didn’t mean he wanted to face his angry adviser. Ray turned and crawled out under the prickly thorns, which presented Joel with a fantastic view of his ass. After a moment of stunned silence he reluctantly followed Ray out into the garden. The pale light of afternoon had faded into the bright hues of reds and oranges that seemed to paint the world rather than light it.

When he emerged Ray took one look at him then laughed and said, “Here… Just lemme…” He gently flattened out ruffles that had puffed up around new knots in the king’s hair.

“Joel you fucker!” Adam screamed off somewhere in the distance.

“No! Fuck off!” Joel screamed back and Ray snorted in laughter.

“C’mon, we’d better go meet him before he comes to find us.” Ray said and Joel leaned down to kiss him one more time before they went out to face the real world.

“I love you, Ray.” He said again, because he couldn’t get enough of those simple words.

Ray smiled and held his sore hand gently, “I love you too.”

They walked out of the garden hand in hand, bathed in the red and golden light of the setting sun. In that moment everything was okay, and okay was wonderful.


	11. AAAAAAAAND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, but I won’t be able to update at all starting tomorrow because of thanksgiving. Once my schedule returns to normal on Monday I’ll start updating again. To make up for it I promise chapter 12 will have lots of plot and drama! (And maybe even a plot twist?!) But because of the long break I won’t leave you on a cliffhanger, so here’s a bit of fluff to enjoy~!

Over the course of the next two weeks Adam sent out not one, not two, but four separate messengers to Ramsey’s kingdom, each carrying a letter asking in varying threats and cuss words what the fuck was going on. So far not a single one of them had returned alive. The situation became even more alarming when the messenger they sent to the Podcast Kingdom returned with news that all the main roads were barricaded and guarded by heavily armed platoons of unrecognized soldiers.

The next peace meeting was approaching fast, and none of them had any idea how they were going to reach the Podcast Kingdom for the monthly gathering. With the Red, Blue, Green, and Podcast kingdoms were all puzzlingly unreachable, and they’d had no contact with Geoff or any of the other king’s since the previous peace meeting. They had no idea if the other kingdoms were in peril or why they had closed off their borders, but reports from scouting teams came back that the soldiers were definitely not from any of the kingdoms in the RoosterTeeth allegiance. It seemed like everything they found out only raised more questions.

But right now, Joel and Ray were unconcerned with the increasingly distressing situation, all that mattered were the bleached pastel light of dawn streaming in through cracks in the blackout curtains that hung over the windows. Ray lay in bed, one arm shielding his face against the too bright light and the other wrapped around Joel’s waist. Deep bags rested under Ray’s eyes from a sleepless night and a contented smile graced his lips. Joel had his face buried in layers of covers, trying to hide from the morning.

“Joel?” Ray asked quietly.

“Noooo…” Joel whined and the lump of blankets shifted slightly.

Ray pulled the covers up over his head, joining Joel in the stifling heat and stale smell of sex. “C’mon, we’ve gotta get up before a maid shows up and finds us.”

“Let them find us, fuck it. Join me Ray, we can live here forever.” Joel said, his beady eyes the only visible part of him in the dark.

“As awesome as that sounds, I actually like eating, and food doesn’t grow under blankets.” Ray told him with a smile, crawling closer so he could snuggle up to the king.

Joel hummed in the back of his throat and nuzzled into the crook between Ray’s neck and shoulder. Ray wrapped both arms around Joel and drew him closer.

“We could make the cooks bring us food.” Joel said matter of factly.

“You’re the one who said we should keep our relationship a secret.” Ray pointed out and Joel harrumphed.

“Past me is an idiot. We should just stay here, where it’s safe and warm.” Joel murmured.

Ray ran his fingers through Joel’s matted bed head while he thought. “...Alright, just for a little while though.”

Joel smiled and stole a quick kiss from Ray in thanks before burrowing back into the knight’s neck which was covered in small purpling bruises from the night before, but of course Ray gave as good as he got. The proof was scattered all over Joel’s pale skin where the king was marked with love bites from his neck to his thighs.

It had only been two weeks since the assassination attempt from Geoff’s kingdom, but in that short time Joel had absolutely refused to be left alone. Ray complied wholeheartedly, every second of the day Ray was right by Joel’s side. From when the king woke up to when he fell asleep, and all of the time in between. Ray hadn’t even seen his own bed since Joel had asked the first time with pleading eyes if Ray would spend the night with him.

There everything was quiet and peaceful, under the blankets and the cover of morning. Ray felt like he could lie here forever so long as Joel was with him. Here the world was warm and Joel was safe. Assassins, responsibilities, and unanswered questions all seemed like far off ideas rather than something to be bothered with. Ray pressed a languid leisurely kiss to Joel’s neck since his face was unreachable. Joel shifted and smiled up at him before kissing him back lightly.

Joel let out a half restrained sigh and Ray chuckled, “I could go for a round t-”

And that was when Adam kicked the door down. “Rise and shine motherfucker! We’ve got shit to do and impo-”

Ray’s breath caught in his throat at the sudden noise and he tried his best not to yelp. Then Ray had to hold his breath so he wouldn’t break out laughing when Joel made a sound he had never heard before. The king made an animalistic screeching sound filled with distress and fury as he shot up in bed, the covers drawn up to his chin to hide all the deep purple bruises blossoming against his skin.

“Did you just fucking hiss at me?” Adam demanded, storming into the room and throwing open the curtains.

Ray hid beneath the covers and tried to look as inconspicuous as possible while Joel wailed at Adam. “Get out! _Adam! Get out!_ ”

Stared Adam down, matching the intimidating look Adam was sending him with his own challenging glare.

“Get out.” Joel said again with finality.

“Fuck you.” Adam shot back.

“I already took care of that.” Ray said slyly, peeking his head up from under the blankets with a half grin.

“Shhh!” Joel hissed and shoved Ray’s head back down.

“...Is that- What is- When did- What?” Adam asked his face twisted between shock and comedic disgust at the thought of what he could have walked in on.

“What?” Joel asked, doing his best at feigning innocence with a totally blank face.

“You know what? Forget it, fuck this. I’m out.” Adam said suddenly and stomped out the door. Just before he slammed the door he turned back and said, “Enjoy your honeymoon while the kingdom collapses!”

“We will!” Ray called after him cheerfully.

He laughed, but Joel was strangely quiet. When he turned and looked up the king had a miserable look on his face. Ray frowned and prodded at Joel’s arm, asking without words if the other was okay.

Joel sighed and went limp, falling back down onto the bed, “I don’t wanna go be a king.”

“You never stopped being a king Joel.” Ray pressed in against his side and Joel’s arms curled around his waist. “You’ve been a king this whole time. Nothin’s gonna change when we leave this bed.”

Joel sighed and held Ray closer to his chest. “You promise?”

“Actually no.” Ray smirked. “You and me are gonna put some clothes on, but other than that nothing will change.”

Joel laughed quietly. “Okay.”

Ray kissed the top of Joel’s head affectionately and muttered into his hair, “I love you.”

“I love you.” Joel responded automatically, the words still feeling as sweet on his tongue as they had the first time he said them.

Ray sat up, but when he tried to stand Joel refused to detach himself from Ray’s waist. Ray threw the covers off them, exposing their naked bodies to the cold air, but Joel just clung tighter. After a few minutes of just sitting there with Joel attached to him like a belt Ray eventually gave up and stood, dragging the king off the bed and to the floor face first with a thump. Ray laughed, Joel whined, and somewhere Adam sighed and muttered under his breath in annoyance.


	12. Felix McFuckface

The show must go on, even when unknown soldiers were blocking the main routes to all the other kingdoms. Gus would kill them if they didn’t show up to the peace meeting, so they spent the next week devising a way to sneak past the barricades. Adam pointed out a small back road running along the border between Sorola’s land and their own that they could take and not be spotted. Joel complained that they would have to go through a cave on that route, but Adam gave him a glare that made him quiet down to a grumble.

They set out later that day, ‘they’ being Joel, Adam, and Ray seeing as Ray was the king’s only knight, but Joel insisted Adam come along as well. His explanation that he didn’t want Adam back at the castle where it wasn’t safe was buried beneath irritated yelling and incessant griping. Adam showed his appreciation of the gesture with more arguing and a whole list of swears Ray hadn’t even thought of. It was comical watching them banter back and forth in raised voices when that was how they showed their friendship. Most of the stuff they said they didn’t mean, but they said it with such conviction that it really sounded like they wanted the other dead or worse.

Joel, Ray, and Adam all took horses since a carriage would have too conspicuous and wouldn’t have been able to cover the more rugged terrain of the seldom used road. By some stroke of luck they managed to sneak past the guards with little to no problem, mostly because they were focused on the major roads. They eventually arrived in the Sorola kingdom, even if it took a little longer than usual. When they arrived they were greeted by shaken castle staff, the whole place had an air of unease and formless fear that was so thick in the air they could taste it.

They made their way up to the meeting room, but Joel froze up in front of the door.

“Ray?” He whispered, as if trying not to let anyone inside know they were there.

“What’s up?” Ray asked, matching Joel’s quiet tone.

“What if… There’s no one in there?” Joel said quietly, he sounded beaten and shaky. “What if they didn’t come?”

Adam snorted and cut in with straightforward logic. “I’d be more worried about what _is_ waiting for us in there rather than what’s not.”

Ray placed a careful hand on Joel’s arm and he leaned subtly into the touch before taking a breath and steeling his nerves. Adam knew when Joel needed a push, and Ray knew when he needed a break. Between the two of them Joel didn’t think it was possible for anything to go wrong. They weren’t only his rock, but his whole world. In that moment he decided that if anything or anyone tried to take that away from him he couldn’t be held responsible for what happened next.

Joel pushed the door open just as Ray’s hand slipped off his arm, and the three of them were greeted with the sight of a full room. The kings and their knights all turned to look with matching looks or relief on their faces. Joel smiled back at them, a weight shifting off his mind when he found none of them were missing. He didn’t know if he could’ve gotten through the meeting with the constant fear that they we’re dead, or worse, sitting on his consciousness.

Ray recognized all the kings from the last meeting, and he was happy to see Gavin standing by the far wall in his usual creeper skin armor. Three new knights he didn’t know also stood in the room, two standing together between Matt and Burnie and one with short dark hair waiting by Gus awkwardly.

It was obvious the two knights shared their title because their armor was done in similar styles, the only difference being the highlights in colors of red and blue to represent their separate kingdoms. Knight titles were usually shared between knights from different kingdoms, it was an idea put in place by Matt as a way to “strengthen the bonds between the kingdoms”. There were exceptions, like the Achievement Hunters who were all from the Green Kingdom, but more knights like the RWBY girls were all from different kingdoms but under the same title.

Seeing Geoff just reminded Ray of what had happened three weeks ago, when Joel broke down and almost _died_. And here Geoff was smiling at the other king looking happy to see him and Ray saw red. Joel opened his mouth to speak but shut it again when Ray stormed past him, furious wrath echoing in every step. Ray looked absolutely irate when he swept right past Joel and the other kings to stop and glare up at Geoff.

Gavin was standing beside Geoff as the Green kingdom’s representative knight when Ray stormed over. He smiled brightly at his friend, but the underlying apprehensiveness made him look unsure. He ignored Gavin completely and grabbed Geoff by the front of his armor suit, practically growling at the taller man. Ray’s armor hitched up at the motion and Gavin caught sight of a now half hidden discoloration hear his neck.

“What the fuck was with the assassin you asshole?”

“Woah, Ray, slow down.” Gus tried, everyone else staring in silent in shock at the usually laid back knight.

“No, no fucking way. Joel could have _died_ because of that fuckin’ stunt.” Ray said in a dangerously livid tone. “I want some goddamned answers, so spill it. What _the fuck_ was that Geoff?”

“Hey!” Geoff cried, leaning back from Ray’s accusing glare. “I didn’t do _jack shit,_ okay? All of us-”

Ray cut him off, his voice brimming with barely restrained anger. “Then why the fuck did an assassin show up wearing your houses messenger sigil?”

Geoff flinched but before he could open his mouth to explain Ray was pulled back by a stern faced Adam. Ray writhed in his grip but gave up the struggle almost immediately when he noticed how the others were all looking at him with poorly hidden astonishment. Shit, he had really gone too far this time. Directly threatening a king, even if it was Geoff, was sure to get him punished.

Ray was pulled from his grim thoughts when Matt cut through the stunned atmosphere. “Alright, everyone calm down and take a seat. We are going to settle this peacefully and no one is going to throw blame around until we get it all sorted out.”

Gavin giggled mischievously from across the room and Ray was immediately apprehensive. “So Ray, why’re you so quick to jump to Joel’s defense? Never saw you do that with any of us.”

Ray did his best to look affronted and replied, “‘Course I did Vav, you just don’t remember ‘cause you’re always too busy crying for Michael to save you.”

“Oi! I do not!” Gavin defended himself with a laugh. “Lovely little Micool’s just the best at saving me.”

“Aww, princes Gavy-wavy ‘ets to be saved by ‘is knight in shinin’ bear pelt,” Ray said, mocking his british accent.

“I am a pretty pretty princess.” Gavin agreed before his tone took on a more mischievous lilt. “So how does it feel to be a real princess Ray? Or would that make you a queen?”

“Hey, idiots, we’ve got serious business to discuss. Keep down the gossip over there,” Burnie said, trying to get the conversation back on track. “All of us, not just Joel, have been attacked in the last month.”

“And all of the assassins have been disguised as messengers from another kingdom.” Gus added looking somewhat weary.

“But then who the fuck is sendin’ all the assassins?” Ray asked, still to angry to be embarrassed by lashing out at Geoff.

“And who would be sending their men to block off all the goddamn roads?” One of the knights asked.

“Aaron’s on to something, what could they possibly gain from trying to separate the kingdoms?” Asked another shorter knight standing next to Aaron.

“Ahp, we- we had to go through a fucking cave to get here. A fucking _cave_. Do you know what lives in caves? _Snakes_. Snakes live in caves.” Joel said, his voice raising slightly.

“No they don’t.” Adam pointed out while Joel kept rambling on.

“I mean, we could have been eaten! Eaten by fucking snakes you guys! We need to do something, before we all get eaten by goddamn snakes. Fucking snakes.” He finished with finality and everyone agreed about clearing the paths, even if it wasn’t because of the snakes.

Joel looked worked up, the thought of snakes making him fidgety and nervous. He once explained to Ray while they were locked in a bread storage closet about the 15 foot python he had as a kid. Joel told the story of when he and his brother took it out to the pond in the castle garden, needless to say it didn’t end well. Ray was tempted to reach out, it would be so easy to take Joel’s hand until he stopped shaking, but they weren’t supposed to let anyone else know how close they really were. Especially when their relationship could be used against them by the unknown threat if it were found out, but still he wanted so badly to just hug the king and dispel his fears. With great effort he tore his eyes away from Joel’s fidgeting hand and looked back up. His eyes caught Gavin watching him with a devious smirk, and before he could call the other knight out on it Burnie spoke up.

“So Ray, I’m surprised you’re still alive!” Burnie commented with a smile.

Ray was still worried about lashing out at Geoff, but nobody seemed to care. He was a bit nervous and unconsciously moved closer to Joel for support before announcing with bravado. “Yeah, survived two months bitches!”

“Holy shit, I didn’t think anyone could go that long.” Gus’ knight chimed in with wide eyes.

“Well I made it, somehow,” Ray said proudly. “The curse can suck it!”

“The curse isn’t the only one who can suck it.” Gavin said quietly behind hardly restrained giggles.

“Michael can suck you off.” Ray growled back under his breath and Gavin laughed harder.

“Oh please, everyone knows about me and Micool,” Gavin whispered, his eyes alight with gossip and mischief. “So when did you two get together?”

“That _might just_ be none of your business, so why don’t you fuck off.” Ray said in annoyance.

“Ray’s being mean,” Gavin grumbled, but he still didn't seem like he was going to drop the subject.

Ray felt like hugging Gus in gratefulness when the king cut off their downhill conversation. “If you guys would shut the fuck up, I actually have a lead.”

“Really? Fuckin’ show it then! Share with the class already!” Geoff yelled.

Gus rolled his eyes and turned to his knight. “Brandon, did you bring the thing?”

Brandon blinked once then said, “What thing?”

“You fucking- the note! The letter the assassin was carrying!” Gus exclaimed, throwing his hands up in exasperation.

“Oh! Yeah, yeah! You just have to be more specific! I brought a lot of stuff okay?” Brandon defended himself while he reached into the satchel on his hip and pulled out a piece of paper.

“What else could I have been talking about? This is important!” Gus said, snatching the rolled up piece of paper from his knight. “Fucking idiots, I swear. All of you are useless fucking idiots.”

“Hey!” Brandon said but Gus ignored him and unfurled the paper carefully.

“Was there anything else on the body?” Aaron asked curiously. “Like, a tattoo of a fist?”

“Yeah, the one in our kingdom had that too…” The other knight shared.

Burnie scowled and shifted from foot to foot nervously. “I really don’t like where this is heading.”

“We found this on the assassin in his messenger bag. It might be a code or something, but if it is we can’t figured out what it means.”

“Well? What’s it say?” Matt asked, leaning over Gus’ shoulder to read the short message. His brow furrowed in confusion and he read it outloud. “It just says, _how’s it goin’ bros?_ ”

Burnie tensed up and groaned. “Fucking Felix.”

“Felix? What the hell is going on?” Adam asked Burnie, his posture tense. He knew what was happening, but he hoped to god he was wrong.

“Felix Arvid Ulf Kjellberg.” Burnie said slowly and a few others in the room perked up when the recognized the name. “A young king, about 25. He rules the largest kingdoms on the continent of YouTube. He set up shop far up north a few years ago and hasn’t stopped growing since.”

“So you’re telling me, the kingdom of PewDiePie has declared _war on us?!_ ” Geoff screeched, his voice cracking.

“That’s it. We’re fucked.” Adam declared. “We are _so fucked_.”

“Come on, I mean, it’s not _that bad_. Right?” Joel asked, but no one responded.

“I don’t see what the big deal is, we can take ‘em,” Ray added shrugging. “We have the upper hand since we’ve been here longer. We’ve got the whole community to back us up.”

“I wish it were the simple.” Burnie said sullenly. “He may be new, but he’s strong. He’s got an even larger following than the Smosh kingdom, and we hardly survived that when they decided to attack us!”

Matt spoke up next. “The Red Kingdom may be prepared for war, but he’s gone and declared all out war against every kingdom in the RoosterTeeth alliance. How well will the Blue Kingdom hold up with Miles in charge? And the Gold Kingdom only has one knight!”

“Yeah, but we can’t just lay down and take it like a bitch!” Gavin said. “We have to at least try!”

“We do have a chance…” Gus continued, catching onto Gavin’s determination. “If we pool all our resources we might be able to hold out long enough for a sneak attack against their main base.”

“So we would need a distraction,” Geoff added, his face taking on the easy seriousness it did whenever they would plan an attack. “Something for him to throw his bro army at while a smaller team sneaks around back.”

“It’s so simple, he wouldn’t see it coming!” Gus exclaimed, and everyone’s spirits lifted just a bit.

“We have a chance.” Burnie announced to the room, filled with renewed determination. “And that’s all we need.”

“Let’s plan a heist to Felix’s castle!” Geoff yelled, his voice cracking a bit.

“Leeeet’s plan!” Ray shouted and Gavin laughed at the familiar cheer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I hate how this chapter turned out. I tried rewriting it twice over the short break but every time it just got worse and worse. Please forgive my terrible writing, but here it is! Make of it what you will.
> 
> To be clear, I have nothing against Pewds. Quite the opposite really, I've been watching his videos since long before I discovered RoosterTeeth. The reason I made him the villain is purely because (SPOILERS AHEAD FOR RVB SEASON 12) his name is Felix which is the name of one of the villains in the chorus trilogy of Red vs Blue. You all know how I love my references~


	13. Boop

Ray lay awake in Joel’s bed. The day before had been tiring for the both of them, and Joel was sound asleep in his exhaustion. Ry was tempted to run his fingers through Joel’s hair but he resisted for fear of waking the other up. Ray had found that even in his sleep Joel would give the occasional twitch, like a puppy running in its sleep. It was so adorable in made Ray’s heart melt, but every time he did Ray worried he would wake up and disturb the man’s much needed sleep.

They had spent the next few days after the peace meeting holed up in Gus’ castle while they worked out a strategy for the upcoming battle. They had eventually come to the decision that since the Podcast Kingdom was the furthest north in the RoosterTeeth allegiance Gus would be the one to organize the sneak attack while the four other kingdoms defended the borders. The main force would be concentrated to where Felix’s kingdom met theirs, but a steady force would also be reserved to hold the other sides since they didn’t know exactly where an attack could come from. With a plan in place everyone had departed to set up start readying their own kingdoms for battle.

A small burst of adrenaline rushed through him every time he thought of the upcoming battle, triggering his fight or flight response just enough to make him restless. Ray had been up for hours, he was ready to run a mile, fight someone, do _something_ , but more prevalent than the urge to be active was his need to stay by Joel. So he lie in bed next to the king and waited for the time to pass with fingers itching for a weapon he didn’t have.

Despite his patient waiting, eventually the thrill of a huge fight on the horizon became too much. As carefully and slowly as he could bare to manage he stood up, pulling the blankets back just enough to slip out of bed unnoticed. He didn’t want to leave Joel, the idea alone repulsed him, so he determinedly stayed close by.

He stretched out his stiff legs with a happy sigh and looked around the room. The few windows there were were completely covered in curtains dyed black with squid ink, and the only furniture in the room was the bed and a large chest filled with clothes and such. Needless to say there wasn’t much to do in the small bedroom, but that did nothing to deter the energy pent up in his body.

Soon he was pacing in circles just to burn off some of the excess energy, he tried to keep as quiet as possible, moving around on light feet while he tracked circles in the floor. A few times in what felt like hours Ray was tempted to leave the room and go practice fighting with the soldiers in the training grounds outside, but every time he shook himself and stayed where he could protect Joel.

Ray wasn’t worried about the upcoming fight, in truth he couldn’t think of a single reason to be nervous. He was _excited_. The thought of getting back into the fight was incredibly intoxicating. The idea of swords and arrows and explosions all around, chaotic noise and yelling and the pure unadulterated _energy_ of it all called to him. For him, the thrill of putting his own life in danger and the threat of not making it out again, well, it was a worthy risk that made the whole thing _better_. The rush he got from putting his life on the line couldn't be rivaled.

When he worked with Geoff as an Achievement Hunter Knight and everything was peaceful, he managed to meet his nearly constant need for excitement and danger through the massive games the king set up. Competitions of fighting or of teamwork were held every week in huge games that sometimes stretched across the entire expanse of the kingdom. Whoever won would usually set up the next game and every time they we’re bigger and better, everyone trying to one up the last winner. But in the games they were just that, games. Every single one had been monitored closely and had many safety precautions to make sure no one got seriously hurt. In war there was no one to make sure you didn’t bleed out on the battlefield.

Since Ray had come to the Gold Kingdom he’d been holding out on the chaos of everyday life, but it wasn’t until now that he realized how much he _missed_ it. The games had been great, but there were nothing compared to a real battle. God, how had he gone this long without a good fight? It burned in his veins and pounded in time with his footsteps. He _needed_ this. He was pumped, in his opinion the war couldn’t start soon enough.

Ray glanced over to where the King was sleeping and caught a shining gleam out of the corner of his eye. When he turned to look he froze in place. He could see Joel watching him, his eyes shining like a cat’s in the low light of the dark room. Shit, he’d woken Joel up. He opened his mouth to say something, but then thought better of it. WHat would he even say? Sorry for pacing around like a wild animal? God he must look crazy right now. How long had Joel been awake, just staring at him while he bounced from one wall to the other?

“Ray,” Joel whispered so quietly that he didn’t even disturb the silence where Ray’s footsteps stopped. “C’m ere.”

Joel lifted the covers with a half asleep hand and Ray complied without a second thought, slipping into the inviting warmth of the bed. Ray shifted restlessly for a second longer, trying to get comfortable under the covers and Joel watched him with an unreadable look on his face.

For a just a second all thoughts of violence and risk left Ray’s mind. He remembered why he hadn’t been throwing himself in front of the firing squad like he used to. Joel. Joel needed him. Joel needed him safe and alive. He had to be Joel’s guard, he had to make sure Joel was safe. Not just because he was the king’s knight, but because he needed Joel too. 

“Ray,” Joel whispered, and Ray snapped to attention.

“Yeah?” Ray tried to match Joel’s soft voice, but everything that came out of his mouth sounded too loud and disturbed the quiet.

“Ray,” Joel sighed and wrapped his arms around the colder man. “Ray you’re so cold.”

Ray chuckled and pulled himself in closer to the warmth Joel gave off. “That’s ‘cause I was just up.”

“Ray,” Joel repeated and Ray’s heart hummed at the sound of his name in Joel’s voice. “Why were you up- doing… Doing the thing?”

“I’m nervous.” Ray lied, he didn’t want Joel to know how much he craved this. The last thing he wanted was to add to Joel’s constant worried and anxieties without adding _suicidal boyfriend_ to the list.

Joel looked up at Ray and met his eyes, Ray froze at the pure scrutiny in his reflective gaze. Ray hadn’t really given much thought to it before when Adam said Joel was smart. He knew Joel was smart, he had to be to run the kingdom the way he did and keep up with the constantly shifting and swaying economy. He knew the king was smart and left it at that, but he had never quite considered just how smart his king was.

Joel spoke in that same soft tone, but there was something hard behind it. “No you’re not.”

The accusation caught Ray off guard, the assuredness of Joel’s voice was absolute. “I… I don’t… What?”

Joel looked up to meet Ray’s stare and his eyes reflected the creeping daylight, for a moment he was paralyzed by what he saw. At that angle he could look through Joel’s eyes and into his head to see the world inside, the world private to Joel that no one else could ever comprehend. Gears and wires danced with electricity and moved rapidly, flickering back and forth from one thing to another drawing red lines between. Everything moved wildly dancing across ideas and theories and information, moving with the precision of a well oiled machine but so intricate is was impossible to track.

That wasn’t the first time Ray had caught a glimpse of Joel’s mind. The first time had been in the garden when Joel’s whole world was crumbling around him. Reflected in Joel’s watering eyes he had seen the ground splintering and breaking, clusters flying into the sky as if pulled up by a menacing god. He’d seen himself outlined in gold and red against a world in the midst of total obliteration. He hadn’t said anything about it, Joel didn’t bring it up so he didn’t either. He didn’t know how to even begin putting into words what he saw through mass of destruction, the cut and sparking wires in tangled snarls, gears bent in half but still turning. He didn’t know what he saw, he didn’t know if he wanted to know.

Joel shifted slightly, still holding Ray’s gaze, but that small shift was enough to throw that elaborate world of chaos and perfection into hiding once more. Ray came back to himself slowly, feeling petrified and lost in emotions that he weren’t quite sure we’re his. Was that what is was like for Joel all the time? How did he handle that constant motion every second of the day wearing away at the back of his head?

“You’re lying.” Joel’s quiet voice soothed Ray despite the indictment in the statement. “You’re excited.”

Ray didn’t even need to ask how Joel knew that, it seemed to him that there wasn’t anything Joel didn’t know. So instead of denying it he just said, “Yeah. I um, yeah.”

Ray expected Joel to tense up in anxiety or pull away in fear, maybe call Ray sick or call him out on being crazy. At least do something to put a wall between them, separate the pain and the heartache and pretend it wasn’t there. What he didn’t expect was Joel to pull him closer, tightening his arms around the smaller man until they were pressed chest to chest. Joel tangled his legs in Ray’s and buried his fingers in Ray’s short hair so he was practically cradling him.

“Joel,” Ray said in more of a sigh than anything and Joel held him impossibly closer.

Joel was warm like fire against his still cold skin and everywhere they touched lit up with heat infinitely more addicting than the heat of the battlefield.

“Please don’t leave me, Ray.” Joel whispered so quiet it barely even registered over the sounds of their mingled breaths. “Please, please, please. I need you.”

Ray wrapped his arms around Joel as best he could with his limited movement and pressed his face into the crook of Joel’s neck. He nodded against Joel’s skin because he didn’t think he could speak besides to mutter the other’s name.

They balanced each other, they needed one another. They didn’t know when they had started relying so heavily on the other, maybe it was when they first kissed, or maybe it was far before then. Long ago in a past life, lost to the ever marching flow of time. Not even Joel knew that much.

Ray swore in the silence and darkness of that room that he wouldn’t die. He couldn’t. It was unthinkable that he could ever fail when Joel needed him so desperately. He was infallible so long as Joel needed him like he needed Joel. Nothing could separate them, and Ray would tear anyone to pieces who dared to try.


End file.
